Sunday, December 27, 2009

Making it Personal

I am reminded of an event back in 1987, when our family van/bus got caught inadvertently in the middle of a small town parade in Hell, Michigan.

My dad joyously shouted out for all the kids to wave to the crowds, acting like we belonged and enjoying the attention. My mom alternated between participating (out of obligation to the cheering crowds) and turning towards my dad, hiding her face and saying, "Oh Bob!"

I now know what that felt like. To be two parts ashamed, and one part secretly delighted.

At the U of M, U of U basketball game we attended Travis became Bob, and I was Delsa. We were seated on the floor, right behind the bench. Above us and to the right was the U of U student section. There was one particularly obnoxious boy wearing Wrangler jeans and a big old buckle, who kept taunting the bench and making comments to us as well.

Travis finally turned on him, and I assume because he was lacking RELEVANT material due to the fact that Michigan was losing, screamed at the kid, "Nice Belt Buckle!"

The kid became enraged and turned his attention fully to Travis. He made a comment about losing and rather than engage in that (again) RELEVANT debate, Travis shouted (while rubbing and jiggling his belly) "blllbbb, bllbb,'re FAT! and you're UGLY!"

I was shocked, appalled, (laughing) and hiding my face. The kid was on fire. After several heated returns between the two of them about meeting outside after the game and having some sort of a duel, Travis finally sat down.

I hid my face, Jessica hid her face, and Rotolu came marching over, "Hey Trav - I'm with you if you want to meet him outside." Great. Nothing like turning 30 and really, truly maturing.

blllbb, bllllb, blllb...You're Fat. Who's the idiot from idiot heaven now?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Idiot Heaven

A few weeks ago I flew out to Utah with Rotolu and Ryan to see Michigan play the U of U.

It was FREEZING and there was snow and ice all over the place. As Jessica and were clutching each other and trying not to fall as we ran toward the stadium we passed a 3 foot hill to the right side of the sidewalk, facing a busy road.

There was one kid about 7 years old at the top of the hill, and two other kids at the bottom of the hill. The one at the top of the hill cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled down at the other two something that was odd enough to be said by any kid across the country, but with a definite Utah twist...

"HEY! Hey guys!!"

He goes running down the ice hill at top speed toward the road still screaming, but now with their attention:

"I'm an idiot! From idiot heaven!"

He was so delighted as he did this, and frankly so was I. From that point on, anytime I came in Travis and Jessica's house I announced myself by yelling "Hey guys! It's me! An idiot from idiot heaven!"

I for one am glad to learn that there are different kinds of heaven, and hope that I am not IN idiot heaven, but that I for sure have visiting privileges.


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