Monday, May 26, 2008

A Traveler's Dream

Travis and I began our 9 million hour trip across the country (Utah-NC) to meet our family in the outerbanks this weekend. The day began at 3:30 when we woke up to go meet our 6am flight. The best way to begin the trip is not sheer exhaustion. It did work out a little better for me than Travis though..I got upgraded and he was sent back to coach. I tried to get him upgraded with me (like NWA will do to a companion) but the Delta gate agent explained to me (in a very patronizing way)that THEY only do upgrades for people with a certain class of ticket...and that's NOT your brother dear. He should have made sure I hadn't only gotten 3 hours of sleep last night, as I was ready to jump over the desk and strangle this pompous little man with my bare hands. I let him live another day through great self-restraint, but I'm not sure it was the right move as I have now left him to punish other unsuspecting travelers with his special brand of customer service.

The trip continued with Travis getting stuck in a seat next to a very large man, and those of you who know Travis know how he values personal space. He should have taken advantage of the man's size and used his beefy arm as a pillow. After we boarded our second flight he texted me (in the front of the plane) to tell me that he had left his brand new book (bought in SLC airport) on the last plane and he would have to buy a new one. Imagine the frustration. We got off the plane in Norfolk (at last), went to re-buy Travis' book, and officially entered the world of Southern-syle S-L-O-W.

I mean EVERYTHING and EVERYONE moves in slow motion around here. The car rental place took an hour (with 3 agents and 8 people in line), the baggage took an hour, Wendy's drive thru got the order wrong and it took 15 minutes just to get the right stuff inside. And nobody is fazed by this pace. I realized that I expect life to move at the speed of light, and I'm not sure if it's a problem with me or with them, I just know it was incredibly annoying.

We finally got on the road for the last leg of our 12 hour trip to North Carolina (I mean..this is NOT an international trip, right?) arriving at the beach house only to hear Travis exclaim with a barbarian yawp, "AAssrrrfffggg I left my jacket on the second leg of my flight!!"

Apparently, he's not a strong traveler on no sleep. Let the vacation begin.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

That's Hamptonality!

Last week in Memphis, we were doing a film shoot with the leadership team at Hampton. Bryan Moon was present,and as always, the little wheels in his head were spinning the whole time.

As a very important and wizened "learnagist" he is always looking for ways to contribute and to make a project better. In the video below, during my interview with Gina, you can see the wonderful contribution he made.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's Hamptonality. Hamptonality that Gina no doubt found to be a truly "unanticipated delight." And in the last month between the Rooties "confessional" where Bryan showcased his awesome naked chest and this video, I think I've come to know him in ways I never could have anticipated or hoped for. Although I am clear now on what not to hope for.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Those who don't drink...hike

Or, at least that was what Brian told me on the phone tonight.

At the end of a long day of what felt like endless annoyances and frustrations, I decided the only way to relieve my frustration and find peace was to hike up a mountain and sit at the top just soaking in beautiful nature. A little physical abuse followed by meditation. Meditation on WHY THE HECK I JUST KILLED MYSELF HIKING THAT MOUNTAIN. And I assure you, we are not "hikers" in my family. Why work that hard without the opportunity to score any points with a ball?

Let me back it up. This past weekend Wallace convinced me to hike to the Y with her. I'd never done it and it looked pretty easy, so I said yes. I won't explain exactly how out of shape I was, or how hard it was, but I will tell you that the next day I literally could not move anything on my body below my waist. I have never, ever been that sore in my life. I found muscles in my HIPS. And ANKLES.

So, the point is, I calculatingly chose to do this to myself again. I knew what I was getting in to and I did it. And that is why Brian said, "Those who don't drink, hike." And he might be right, although it must be a lot easier to just tilt a glass to the lips. I'm pretty sure my arm muscles wouldn't be screaming at me in the same way tomorrow, but I also wouldn't have felt a sense of extreme accomplishment at reaching the top, or seen quite the same view. And had it be real.

I feel better, I can face another day. So for all of you who don't drink, I'm telling you, go take a hike.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

You are as briliant as a sunset

I had a recent conversation with a friend who just started dating someone and is struggling with the age old question: What annoying things that your new man does should you just ignore, and which ones should send you screaming for the door?

It gets a bit more clouded at our age because everyone thinks the reason you're not married is because you're too picky, so the instant response from family and friends is, "Ignore all flaws, all annoyances and any problems and JUST GET MARRIED." Keep this in mind as you consider, and answer this blog.

I do agree that in most cases people who are unmarried in their 30's probably are a bit more picky than they should be. But, does this doesn't mean you should just marry anyone? No. No matter how old you are.

The current topic of "annoyance" we were discussing was the guy's cheese factor. You know the guy...the one who makes every moment and every comment in to a declaration of love. Example: "That sunset is brilliant." His reply, "You are brilliant." That rose is beautiful. Response, "You are beautiful." I could eat that up with a spoon. Response, "I could eat.." never mind, you get the idea.

Clearly, this is NOT a good reason to end a relationship. But here's the real question. What's at the heart of this? Someone you are smitten with could tell you "Your eyes are like liquid pools of light that reflect all my love for eternity" and you would think it's the most romantic thing in the world. If someone you're just not that in to says it you throw up a little in your mouth.

There are some notable exceptions, but I ask the cheesy creep outs reaction to a guy like this something that is dumb and should be overlooked, OR is it a manifestation of something bigger that shows you're just not that in to him, and it's a bigger problem?

You be the judge.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Because I care so deeply for you people I am going to let you in on a secret that will save 4 valuable hours of your life. I'm going to tell you two movies that you should never, never see. I don't care if your life is being threatened or if you are promised a million dollars - DO NOT DO IT. They are: Made of Honor and What Happens in Vegas. I assure you, the only thing you will get from seeing these two movies is deep regret and an understanding why Bollywood is making more money than Hollywood now.

While seeing the second horribly painful movie, I was entertained by a phenomenon that I find much less entertaining when I actually enjoy the movie. It's the movie color commentator - MCC.

This MCC is the guy (or gal) who sits in the theater and really, really believes that they are not only part of the movie, but that the characters can hear them. They say things like, "Oh no girl, don't do that. You WILL regret it." OR "I told you not to." OR "I remember that happened when I was in Vegas." You know, just running commentary throughout the movie. Bringing it to life for everyone around them and reminding the rest of us that it is really a movie all while they have completely suspended disbelief and live it.

At the end of this horrible movie, I turned to the MCC behind me making all these comments and I said, "Thank you. If it wasn't for you, I would have killed myself during this movie. You are the only thing that was entertaining." He looked at me and smiled, but his face said, " You are crazy and I have no idea what you're talking about." I find it shocking that he has no idea he was actually talking during the whole movie.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Unforseen Delay

I was sitting on my flight enjoying the pre-flight water you get served when you are a first class citizen, when I noticed that the traffic getting on the plane had stopped.

The pilot's voice came over the loudspeaker with the following announcement, "Sorry folks but there is going to be a slight flight delay." Ugh, I knew things had been going too smoothly. I waited to hear if it was mechanical or weather, but was surprised to hear something I have never heard before.

He continued, "Unfortunately we have a woman down. I repeat, a woman down." What??? "A woman passed out on the jetway and we currently have paramedics helping her. As soon as we get her taken care of we will continue loading the flight and try to be as close to an on-time arrival as possible."

I've been on a LOT of flights, and I have never heard that one. Woman down.

The most intriguing part of the story came after they started moving people again. "Folks, we've removed the woman from the jetway, and she seems to be doing OK." That seemed like a good place to stop - or at least logical. Apparently this pilot was very thorough and thought we should know, "The woman is now at a help desk where they are helping her to re-book her travel. We are assured that she will be able to get to her destination when she is feeling better."

Perhaps I am callous and uncaring, but did we really need that information? I thought it was odd, and entertaining, and I for one am relieved that she was in fact able to re-book her travel and get to her destination. I was hoping at the end of the flight we would get another update about when and where she was going. No such luck.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I am so Hot

And I'm not talking about the temperature.

I was walking through the airport a couple days ago when I noticed people kept staring at me. At first it just seemed to be men. I wasn't too surprised, cause hey, like I said, I'm no sack of potatoes. (whatever that means.)

But then I noticed it was happening a bit more than even someone as stunning as myself was accustomed to. I went from thinking, "yeah, I'm lookin' good today" to "alright, already, take a picture." With a couple particularly hard-staring bozos I actually did the lean in towards them with a hard, challenging stare in my eyes that as good as said, "You like what you see buster? Why don't you stare a little harder?"

They did have the courtesy to look away, but it wasn't until I noticed a couple that walked by pointing AND sniggering (great word from My Fair Lady) that I started thinking maybe this doesn't have anything to do with how hot I am.

I stopped, looked down and noticed part of my skirt tucked in to my "undergarments." Awesome. And less than hot.

Clearly, some of these people were probably wishing they could take a picture and make it last longer -- especially if they had blogs. I know I would.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

The resurrection

Sorry to wax religious here, but it's too irresistible not to record.

Yesterday I was talking to my 4 year old niece Keely and she told me this story about the mice problem they've been having in the basement. Here is her story:

"We set these traps and we kept checking them and checking them and never found anything. Then one day I went down to the basement and it was really, really dark and I thought I saw this pine cone. Then I switched on the light and I saw this poor little dead mousey in the trap. (sad face) And it was so, so sad.

(pause. I wait for the tears.)

But it's ok, because I know that in the resurrection I am going to get to play with that mousey and I will buy him a big present of cheese that I will wrap in the bow. I think actually, that it's little mousey babies died and the mama needed to be with them."

Great story, no? Someone's been paying attention in Sunday School and finding some interesting applications. I mean... resurrection?? I truly hope she does get to play with that mousey in the resurrection as planned. And all it's babies.


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