Friday, November 30, 2007

Texting = Good Communication

Wallace, Travis and I were going to go out with Mike C. last night because he is one of the few players that does like to leave his apartment jail and actually get out, but we ended up staying home. (Because we couldn't think of anything to do!)

MC kept texting me to see if we were going to do anything. Let me just add a side note here- I don't get texting. People in this younger generation (I can't believe I'm saying "kids today") use it as their sole form of communication. Remember the silent Thanksgiving dinner? They weren't talking, but they sure were texting each other like mad. In fact one of them texted me! And as I ran across the room to grab my phone to get the urgent call, I was shocked to see the message was from someone sitting three feet away from me, and the message said, "Dinner was really good - thanks. Are you going to California?" I mean I'M SITTING RIGHT THERE- ASK ME!!!! Ok, back to the story.

At one point Mike randomly wrote, "Are you married if you don't mind me asking? Was that your friend that came to Thanksgiving?"

I was with "my friend" (wallace) when I got it and after reading it to her, at first pass, I thought - he must be interested in one of us. Then my little mind kept working and put two and two together and I realized....He thinks I'm a lesbian!! He's asking if we are just friends AND if I'm married!!! I tend to sometimes be impulsive, and Wallace slightly more so, so she insisted I tell him that we are not lesbians immediately. I wrote back and told him just that- I am not married, and I'm not a lesbian if that's what you are implying. He wrote back, "Lesbians? LOL, I just wondered if she was your friend."

Ok, so maybe I'm (I mean we're) a little paranoid. But come on, why would she be at dinner if she wasn't a friend? Of course he continued texting and let me know that he was hoping that all three of us could get together and be "friends". I think he was leaving it open for interpretation, but I chose not to go down that path again with my wild imagination.

As a side note, the activity we finally settled on for the 3 of us was Game Night 2007 live. This came about through the following texted convo:

M.C.: What is there to do in Provo?

Shauri: Well, movies, bowling, rollerskating, shopping, and games.

(I thought the response to this would be radio silence. As in - that's lame.)

M.C.: What kind of games? video?

Shauri: (in my head: he really wants to know what games?) Video games, card games, board games, reindeer games, you name it they love it!

(I figure this will end the conversation. Wrong. Turns out he loves...)

M.C.: What kind of board games?

Shauri (in head: Seriously?) What kind do you like?

M.C.: Monopoly.

(Does anyone else find this hilarious yet? I just can't believe this is real.)

Shauri: Awesome. Any others?

M.C.: Yeah. (Period. That's it, just "yeah.")

Shauri: Ok. Well, I'll tell you what. You, me, Wallace - game night 2007 Live.

I don't know why, but for a guy from the streets of Philly who is used to going out clubbing, has a baby-mama with twins, and is used to doing other, more, errr.. urban activities, it really tickled my funny bone that the activity he latched on to was "board games." And that he actually had one in mind - Monopoly. He's AWESOME! Just goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover.

So that's it. Game Night is coming up and it's gonna be hot. I'll keep you posted as I know you are all glued to your seats in anticipation.

He's a lover, not a fighter

I am posting this specifically for Mom. If these pictures don't make you love our slightly confused Ukranian lover, I don't know what will. He's helping the "little guard" up after a foul. I mean their faces are precious! I'm sure Kevin doesn't know what's going on!

This one does seem to imply that maybe he isn't finding very many Utah girls. But c'mon - it's cute. (It was the post-game shot right after Cuffee here drained the winning 3.)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Oh what a difference a win makes

If every Flash game is as exciting as these last two home games, I may have just switched my allegiance from college ball to the D-League.

Once again tonight, the game came down to a last second shot and with the Flash down by one point, with 1.8 seconds on the clock our boy Michael Cuffey took the pass, calmly looked down and took a step behind the 3-point line (note: he only needed 2) and drained the 3 getting fouled in the process. He made the free throw and put the game away.

The arena went crazy!!! 4 Jazz players were there tonight on the front row as well as Frank Layden, Smitty, and Jerry Sloane. These guys all said they would be regulars at the games they were so exciting. When Cuffey sank the winning shot they were all on their feet hootin' and hollerin'.

What's especially exciting is that Travis can take a deep breath and relax because there will be no anger in tomorrow's ops meeting. He was pacing the arena all night long looking like a caged lion. Brandt was on cloud nine hugging everyone and giving high fives. It honestly felt like we had just won the world championship of....well... the world.

The players are all starting to jell, and some are beginning to actually take floor leader roles, and you know what? I even think they are starting to TALK to each other and just people. Like me.

In filming yesterday, I did learn what a day in the life of a player is all about. Sleep until 10 am, go to practice at 11 until 1. Then come home and take a nap, watch a million Martin re-runs on video, lay around the house, take another nap, text and go to bed. It's like jail - no one leaves the house. And some of them actually like it. Brandon Wallace, the Celtics player said he would do the same thing if he was at home or in Boston. He'd just chill. Wow.

He also told me something kind of cool. One of his basketball heroes was Kevin Garnett. He was so excited when he made it on to the Celtics and got to meet him. He said Kevin took him out shopping and bought him 3 suits and told him to work hard and make things happen. Can you imagine how great it is to follow your dream and to succeed at it to the point where you become a peer to your hero? Pretty cool. Oh, and getting 3 free suits isn't too shabby either, although I'd prefer to just have the cash.

Everyone will be relieved to know that I did NOT try to vault any chairs tonight and managed to stay with my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sex Ed - Ukrainian Style

Time for another update on our favorite Ukranian (NOT Russian) player.

Yesterday, after filming at practice I was sitting on the couch talking to some of the players. Our old friend Fez, found his way over and started to chat with me. He told me about the player meeting they went to and how some of the sexual health material was rather unpleasant to look at. Then things got really interesting. Again, I bring you Fireside Chats with Fez:

Fez: Did you know that these, uh, how you say, yes, condoms are only...

Shauri: ..97% effective?

Fez: No..not thees. I am saying to you that they are only effective for 40% of time to prevent sexual disease.

Shauri: Ahh, interesting. That seems like a low number.

Fez: Yes. It is low and these doctors, they are the only ones who know thees and they tell no people. My brother is doctor and he tell me.

Shauri: Well that's good to know.

Fez: Yes. You should be careful with the girls that you are dating and things.

Shauri: Right. Like maybe even get to know them and date them before you need a condom.

Fez: Well, this is much. I think you should date girls that are wiz-heads...

Shauri: Wiz-heads?

Feez: Yes. You know, they are smart girl. They will go with you for these checks to be tested.

Shauri: That does sound like a wiz head. How often do you do this?

Fez: Oh I do it very regularly. Once a month I go for this check and I bring girls.

Shauri: Once a month?? Is Wilt Chamberlain your idol?

Fez: No. Magic Johnson is the best for women. I be like him.

Shauri: No, Wilt. Wilt definitely slept with the most women.

Fez: This cannot be true. I believe and I know that it is Magic.

The debate continued until we called in the assistant coach to settle the argument and he agreed that Wilt definitely slept with the most women. Either way, it is slightly concerning that our Ukranian lover has such goals. I have a feeling he will not be needing such a frequent check up here in the state of Utah.

The Home Opener

So on a less exciting note, I thought the first game of the season was a great success! Sadly, they lost the game on (literally) a last second shot. There was in fact, one second on the clock. Frank Layden did tell the camera (mine) that it was the worst call ever. But overall, it was a nail biter game with lots of excitement and the crowd seemed to be very in to it.

I know Travis was a bit disappointed that he sold 5,000 tickets to the game and only about 2-3 thousand showed up, but I think it was still a great showing and the crowd was loud enough to be 5,000. It was run soooo much more professionally then the road games I saw. They had red carpet, complete with paparazzi taking people's pics as they came in and interviewing them with questions like, "who are you wearing tonight? I love your outfit." They had a brand new, awesome Flash floor, professional media setup, fireworks to start the game, the whole team running out of the tunnel with the lights down and spotlights, and the mascot riding on the floor on the free scooter giveaway. All-in-all I thought it was an awesome production with lots of fun for everyone and a complete success.

It was really cool to see it all come together after following the ups and downs for so many months and not seeing any actual results. I think the players were a lot more pumped to play in front of a home crowd that really loved them too. Maybe now they will start talking. One can dream.

Crowd favorites were already starting to be picked too. I asked all the ballboys if they had a favorite and they all agreed on Michael Cuffee. In their words, "he's awesome!"

As mentioned in my previous blog, I also met the guy who's in charge of the D-league for the NBA. His name is Dan Reed and he wanted to talk to me about filming because apparently it's creating quite a stir. The league is very protective of their I.P. and already shut down one documentarian in Anaheim. Luckily I was able to shmooze him a little when I found out he went to good old Pi High in Ann Arbor and played basketball with Shawn. Shawn- he sends a shout out to you. We talked about Hayward and Donyell, and Quentin and all your old Quinn-daddy boys. Pretty crazy small world. Anyway, he still wants to talk and still has concerns, but the Ace Deuce may come through in the clutch for me.

So that's it. Nothing funny, but it was a GREAT game. Cuffee actually made a 3-pointer with 2 seconds left to tie the game when all hope seemed lost. The crowd was on their feet. Not a win, but the kind of game that brings you back. Or brings you to your back in my case.

Woooommmaaaannn Down!

I would love to write about the actual game experience last night, but I have been informed by reputable (and sensitive) sources (Janine, Wallace and Travis)that the highlight of the game was not even part of the game, but right after it finished.

Post game, I was walking around with my camera and backpack talking to some of the people on the court when all of a sudden I heard my name yelled. I turned to see my friends Wallace, Erika, and Janine sitting about 6 rows up on the other side of the floor. I broke into a grin and started to amble towards them. I got so close I could almost feel their loving arms embracing me, when I was stopped by a row of floor seats that were bolted to the ground. I looked right, I looked left and there was no close way to walk around them. I saw Wallace as if in slow motion, waving her arm and saying, "cliiimmmmbbb oveerrrr." I shrugged and pushed the seat down, thinking it would stay. One foot was up before I realized my error. Just as I was taking my second foot off the ground, I realized I was about to be catapulted upwards as the seat began to snap back in to place. The rest was in super slow-mo. I knew I was going down, but I had time to think through the whole process as it was happening. At first I thought I might just land awkwardly in the chair, than I thought I could protect with my hands and just land on my butt. Then I realized my camera was in my hands and it was more important to protect 3K of equipment than myself. I stopped moving to catch myself and instead tried to place my camera on the next seat as I was going down instead of watching it hit the floor. I did manage to save it but just as I fell flat on my back on top of the backpack strapped to said back. I looked like a turtle on it's shell with legs wriggling in the air. It was probably the most awkward fall known to human kind.

Moments later I see my brother's laughing face hovering above me. I search it for concern, but all I see is laughter...and embarrassment. He pulls me to my feet and burrows me in to his chest, not to hug me, but as he says, "To hide me." as in, "Let me hide you." Wallace and Janine come screaming down the steps with laughter. EVERYONE saw it, and the people behind them said, "She should have caught THAT on film." The outpouring of love and concern is overwhelming.

The worst part for me however, is the fact that there was a man there from the league (NBA) who I was supposed to meet with the next day (today) to talk about my film and the distribution possibilities. He saw the whole thing. I don't even know HOW I will be able to look him in the face and have a serious conversation as he thinks, "This person? This is the person we would trust to have a camera and capture interesting footage??" I'm so humiliated.

It does remind however of one of my favorite falls - at Steve and Barry's in Michigan. Kris, I think you know where I'm going. When you missed the steps and went down like a brick behind a shelf of shirts. And as we were laughing on the ground, the man who peeked around the shelf to see you and thought we were mad as loons and wouldn't crack a smile. Falling can be fun, I get it. But this one wasn't. Yet.

Next post....the actual game, a secondary story.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Game One - Sweet Victory

Saturday I flew to Anaheim for our first official game. When I say "our", I mean the Flash. I'm not sure they include me as part of the team, but I like to think they should after my potato pie efforts.

It was rather exciting. I thought we were going to lose, but we ended up winning on a last second shot by Gabe Pruett who had just been sent down by the Celtics the day before.

What was sad about that is it gives a little glimpse in to how fragile your dream is as a professional basketball player. On Thursday the guys had just been talking to Wallace about how you can get sent down or up at anytime during the season and that you are never secure in your spot. We saw that first hand the next day when Pruett came down and Gary got sent packing just hours before his flight to Game One. It's a tough business. (The top picture is of our two Celtic guys.)

It was really interesting to see how poorly attended some of these games will be. The Anaheim team only had about a couple hundred seats filled and felt very empty. (You can get a bit of a feel for that in this picture.) It will be interesting to see how many show up for OUR game opener tomorrow. I'm sure everyone in the Flash organization (especially travis) is nervously awaiting that moment of truth.

Nothing very exciting or interesting to post on the personal front. I'm suffering from major PMS, so mostly just trying not to talk to very many people. This is for their benefit, not mine so I hope the concern is appreciated. (Is it ok to say PMS on your blog? I think when you are experiencing it, it is.)

Friday, November 23, 2007

I'm famous. In a very small way.

Ok...this is kind of cool. To me.

I found this picture of me on the Flash Website - I didn't know it was there. Check out this link: and once you get to the page you'll see a frame with pictures - I think the new Celtic Draft pick is in the first one. If you click through to number six you can see this pic of me on the job interviewing ex-NBA player Thurl Bailey at the open tryouts. As you can see, we are really enjoying the interview - or at least I am.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Dinner of the Dead

Sometimes when I'm at home by myself eating dinner I will suddenly start out of my deep thoughts (yes, I have them. Mostly about The Office) and realize, wow, I must have drifted off because it's so quiet in this house by myself.

I had a similar experience today. Only it was much, much more startling. I was sitting at the table lost in thought and silence when I suddenly started back to reality and gave a double start to see myself surrounded by giant, silent men.

Men that Wallace referred to as "a Redwood forest" upon first meeting. As in, "I feel like I"m surrounded by the Redwood Forest." I wouldn't be surprised if that was when they decided to shut down. I mean, nobody wants to be thought of as a Redwood tree. Do they?

Wallace thought we should have dressed up in our mime outfits to see if that would have helped facilitate the conversation. Maybe I'll try that next Thanksgiving.

I did attempt to make sweet potato pie at their request, and I am here to tell you...I failed. Well, mostly I failed on the crust. I saw players scraping the insides out of the crust and eating that. Here were some of the comments, "It's ok - it was your first try." and "You should just get the already made crust" and "Wow, this DRINK is really good." A drink I made by pouring cranberry juice and 7UP in to a pitcher. Now I know that the best food for this group is already made, processed or bottled or packaged food. I wish I had known that up front it would have saved a lot of time and effort.

A couple of the guys were very sweet and did thank me for a great dinner, but there were a handful of not so nice, not so grateful guys too. Travis said we should think of them as really pretty girls. The girls who don't have to develop personalities because they are so pretty. You can't talk if you ain't got nothin' to say.

Anyway, it was definitely a trip. I have never, never had trouble pulling people out and messing with them until they loosen up and talk....until yesterday. Wallace and I did have a good conversation with the guys who sat at our table finally about jail and polygamists which they were REALLY interested in, and we also learned that women in Croatia are really hot. Wallace made this comment to the Croatian player and he agreed wholeheartedly. She then asked what he thought about women in America, and I said, "careful you have 2 at the table" this didn't really phase him as he replied, "Ohhhh...they are alright I guess."

It was a quiet, quiet holiday, so I guess it was, in retrospect, very like a Hallmark Card as I suggested in my previous blog. Both are after all silent.

Cooking Turkey is Gross

Two nights ago I had a flash of either complete insanity, or overwhelming generosity. Since I know I'm not that generous, I think we can go with insanity. Which, by the way, was one of the pleas I could make in court for my ticket of running a stop sign. You have no idea how tempting it was when the judge asked, "what do you plead to this charge?" not to say, "Judge, I was clearly insane." It was really funny in my head, but this time the gatekeeper was strong, and I resisted. Judges don't tend to have good senses of humor I've noticed. I guess I learned from my "Did you see my dad's picture on the porn site?" comment when the gatekeeper was not active this time last year. See - I grow.

Sorry for the tangent. Back to this moment of insanity. After many puppy dog eyes and comments about nowhere to be on Thanksgiving, I offered to feed the entire Flash basketball team. I thought maybe other staff would split them up with me, but no one else seemed bothered by the fact that they were not having a turkey dinner. I think I have overactive guilt complex. Once again, I have to give thanks to Delsa for that one. (It just means you're nice mom. At least that's what I'm telling myself.)

Anyway, I have no idea how much ten 7' ball players eat, but I'm guessing it's a lot. I'm a little nervous about guessing on portions - but mom told me if I guess too little to just send them to McDonalds. I asked her if that's what she would do, and she said, "No. But I wouldn't guess wrong." Very helpful.

I'm also a little nervous because half of the food I'm making I've never made before, so I have no idea if it turned out or not. For example, sweet potato pie. Never done it. But these boys seem to think it's a Thanksgiving staple, so I made some for them. I have no idea if the pies are right. I also am making mom's caramel yams for the first time and Kristin and I both struggled with directions like "wait until it turns a tan color" There are so many shades of tan! And whether it should be runny or not. I mean, please, just a bit more specific for the Thanksgiving rookies. Here's the worst part though - THE TURKEY. I'm not even going there. After reading online how to do it, with instructions that included "Break the neck and pull out the giblets and tie back the wings" ugh - no way. Seriously the grossest idea ever. I'm buying a pre-cooked turkey -ready to go. I have no time for making that anyway. I've been cooking for 24 hours straight and still going.

Guests today will include 10 players, Travis, Me, and Wallace. I can't imagine a more perfect, traditional, Hallmark Card Thanksgiving. At least I know I will walk away from it with plenty of blog material.

Happy Turkey Day to All!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ed Has Gout

And I'm also furious about the Bachelor. On many levels. But I'll come back to that.

Ok, let's talk about Ed and the Gout. For those of you who don't know, Ed is a co-worker. Apparently it's a big problem for him and he's been having a hard time getting it out there, and speaking publicly about it no matter how valuable it would be for him to educate the public. To help him with that first step, I told him that I would happily publish it for him on my blog and break the ice. I don't really understand the worry. He always tries to keep people away by putting on his Britney Spears headset--and it doesn't always work. With this blessing of a disease he simply has to put a sign over his desk that reads, "I have gout" and he'll get all the space he needs and wants. See image below:

The one thing I thought was a little strange was the fact that one of our clients and friends, Hannah of Holiday Inn Express fame, also has a strange and rare disease that few have heard of (sorry Hannah- had to be done) and the way that Ed finally figured out what they both were suffering from was his reading of the book Little Women. Yes, the little girl's classic. Can't you just imagine our 6'4" societally challenged (Elizabeth's words, not mine) friend curled up with a blanket, some candles (gardenia-scented) and his well-worn copy of Little Women? Oh - and his gout. It's cute.

So back to The Bachelor. I'm angry. The first step in any self-help program - admit you have a problem. And how you feel...angry. I admit that I shouldn't even watch such a stupid, trashy show. Yes, I am at fault, yes I am dumb. But please, please tell me that he did not represent the very man that is any spinster's worst nightmare.

I mean he has two great choices, he says he loves them and that he just can't make a decision. That when he is with one, he thinks of the other. What is that?? I think Chris said it best, "Any guy who can't choose one woman out of 25 beautiful women has a problem." Although, to the bachelor's credit, some of those 25 women tried to impress him with intriguing tricks like wrapping their legs behind their heads and doing break dance moves on the floor. Talk about societally challenged. Anyway I don't want to get distracted defending my nemesis.

So, not only can't he make a choice because neither one is "perfect" or "offers everything", but the most painful part for me is the fact that he actually had her dad fly out because he had every intention of proposing, and that he said he loved her and there was no reason he could identify why he couldn't go for it. WHY???? Please, please hand out some therapy as a take away gift for this fool. I don't know, there's a side of me that feels for him, but there is also a murderous rage boiling beneath the surface. I guess the big question is...why do I care about the bachelor? I would like to say I am quitting it, but I know it's a lie. I can't resist a good train wreck any more than the next gal.

One last thing before I let this go and focus on something important and real, like Ed's gout...I think the bachelor's punishment for breaking not one, but two girl's hearts should be that he is now forced to marry the pretzel twisted-wierdo bachelorette. Can I get an amen sisters?

While I'm on the subject of dating, let me just put it out there that I have officially been asked out on my first player-date. Not playa, but player. Well, I don't know, might be both.

Tonight as I was wrapping up filming the Flash meet and greet, one of the players approached me, sat down and rendered me (and this doesn't happen often) speechless with a casual, "So when are we going out?" As if we had discussed it before and were both planning on it. Being a silver tongued dating wizard, I said, "uh, ummm. uh...what?" Smooth as butter. He repeated the question, I sort of recovered and reminded myself that I could be his mother, and told him that I didn't think it was a good idea to mix business and matter how pleasurable going out might be. I also mentioned we wouldn't want it to cloud the bias of the documentary. I then gave him some great advice- I encouraged him to get some groupies like any good NBA bound fella. He said no thanks, he would bide his time. I imagine the invitation was more about him needing transportation, since he asked me last week if I would take him to Western Union. I haven't done that yet, and this could have been another clever way to get me there.

One last time, for Ed's benefit. He has the Gout.

You Can't Run from the Law - Part Deux

Speaking of running from the law, I've been doing a little bit of that myself. I spent the day in court yesterday in a plea bargain session.

Since I've been in this lovely state I've been pulled over twice. TWICE. In one week. I mean, doesn't law enforcement have anything better to do than pull over innocent, and hurried drivers? Clearly Utah needs to get a higher crime rate.

In the first "incident" I was pulled over by a woman. Clearly the WORST case scenario. I haven't had a ticket in over 10 years and that's not because I haven't been pulled over. Women are TOUGH. This one was no exception. She pulled me over because I ran a stop sign and didn't even care when I told her it was a genetic problem passed down from my mother. I never even noticed that sign. Then I told her I was lost and talking on my phone which is why I missed it. Bam! She threw the book at me for careless driving because apparently in Utah if you are talking on the phone when pulled over it's a problem. You can talk on the phone while driving, you just can't get pulled over while doing it. Basically, I got punished for telling the truth.

In court yesterday (I wasn't going down easy) they give you a chance for a plea bargain before your case is heard. I told the venerable prosecuter that I was not from Utah, didn't know of that law (which was a ridiculous law anyway) and shouldn't be punished. He said, "ignorance of the law is not an excuse for not abiding by it." Hello? Ignorance of the law is the best excuse for not abiding by it. We argued back and forth for a while about whether or not it was stupid and then finally we agreed to disagree. Turns out he is from Livonia, MI and a fan of the wolverines. We talked a lot about something we could agree on - how much we hated Ohio State - and then he agreed to cut the offense from a $300 dollar reckless driving offense to a $100 running a stop sign offense. I told him I still wasn't happy, but I would accept his offer. I'm sure the other plea-bargainers in the room were all suddenly Michigan fans too, but I didn't stick around to find out.

The moral of this story: Even when you feel like someone is letting you down all the time (the Wolverines) they can still come through for you in the clutch and in an unexpected way. Never give up the love. Think about it.

You Can't Run from the Law

I'm pretty sure we invented planes so we could stop riding buses.
Yesterday was the teams' pre-season game in Burley, ID. Apparently there is no way to fly to this location so we had to rent a Greyhound and pile on the bus. I assure you that while this is not particularly comfortable for me, it is even less comfortable for guys who are 7 feet tall. We left at around 2 pm and returned at 2 am. It was a long, long trip for a 2 hr game of basketball.

There are some things I like about the bus.
1. You can't fall 50,000 feet to your death. (Although the guy I sat next to at the game told me his college football bus caught fire once and exploded. But still, they got off right? Not depending on a seat cushion to save them or break their fall.)

2. You don't have to wait 20 min. before you can move about the cabin. Ok, I don't use this perk much, but hey, it's freedom.

3. You can watch movies. And the ones you select. Northwest is so cheap these days that you don't even get a movie on a cross-country flight.

4. Your seat reclines 3 inches instead of 2.

5. You don't have seat assignments and there is a wonderful sense of camaraderie. When everyone is awake.

6. When does a whole plane ever break out in gospel music? Answer: It doesn't. (See Gospel Bus blog.)

That's it folks. But I call that looking on the sunny side of life. Glass half full, that's the kind of girl I am.

I interviewed a couple players on the bus and asked them what they do in their off time. They said they go to IHOP and Walmart (both within walking distance of their apartments. They have no cars.) and when they really want to get crazy they go to McGraths fish restaurant. I asked if they went clubbing, and they said, "Have YOU found clubs in Provo??" They asked what I did for fun here (with a sad little hopeful expression in their eyes) and I said, "Pretty much IHOP and Walmart."

The other entertaining thing they told me were some of their misadventures as tall, black, men in the largely white Provo area. They said at night when they are WALKING to one of their hot spots, probably McGrath's, there have been a couple of times when cops have driven by and seen 6 huge black men walking together and literally broken their necks staring as they drive by. You can imagine the scene. Not just one black man (which would be huge in Provo) but six together walking at night by the freeway. James Lang (one of the players) told me the big debate between him and Lamar was whether to lay low or run if the cop stopped. I assured him his best bet was NOT running, but he would not be convinced. We were all laughing about it, but I'm not sure that type of event will retain it's charm for long. Good old Provo.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Art of Dating addendum

I feel the need to clarify after KA's comment on my blog. I don't want any of you to mistakenly think that I believe the cookie ding dong ditcher isn't sweet. He is. I definitely think it's high time the tables were turned and guys started, I don't know, pursuing the girls and cooking for them, or whatever. I mean, It's the 21st century and all. Just saying, it's oddball for Provo. Really, really odd. And the really odd part was more the dodging a face to face and picturing a 32 year old man dropping off cookies and running for his life from my door. I'm sure it made quite an interesting sight for the neighbors!

The Art of Dating

Dating lately has felt a bit like I'm in a wierd-o parallel universe. I'm back in Provo where I dated as just a girl, fresh and new to whole experience. Since I've been here things have turned upside down. I recently had a guy ding-dong ditch cookies on my doorstep. First of all, that's the girl's domain in Provo. I remember guys with plates of goodies on their kitchen tables, all lovingly hand-delivered by hopeful young ladies. I've been informed that the guy who did this for me, "must be gay." Stands to reason. (Second of all - does it strike anyone else as odd that a 30-something year old man has to ding-dong ditch???)

I have been mistaken several times for a divorcee. Men cannot grasp that I can be at this ripe old age and not have children and papers. A couple have just assumed this fact upon meeting, and asked how many children I have. Dating at this age is all about show me pics of your kids and I'll show you mine. I've started carrying pictures of Travis and Garrett just to have something to show. It's odd to me that the normal assumption these days on the dating market is that you are divorced. It's a strange, new Provo.

After a couple of particularly unfortunate dates, I was telling my co-workers, Brian and Micah, that I had forgotten (while living in the dating desert of Michigan) how much I actually disliked the ritual.

Here's the thing. You have about a 1 in 10 chance of actually liking your date and wanting to see them again. That's 10% people!!! If someone told me that 1 out of every ten times I participated in water ballet that I would be glad I was doing it, but 9 of those times I would hate it, I would say, you know what? no thanks. I guess I'll try basketball or knitting - an activity where the odds of enjoyment are greater. I'm not a betting woman, but I understand playing the odds.

Brian and Micah helped me come up with a solution. After this many years of dating (I mean, you put in some serious investigative time before you reach the title of spinster) I have a pretty good idea of who I am and what I like. I know the kind of person I click with and I know who makes me crazy. I'm also a great question-asker. I learn a lot about people in a short amount of time.

So here's the plan. (Thank you Brian and Micah.) I really only need 15-20 minutes on a date. At dinner, I simply ask my usually hard-hitting reporter-woman questions and decide if we connect. If we don't, I save us both some time and trouble, by informing the waitress that my meal will actually be to-go, leave enough to cover my meal and thank my date for their time and trouble. It's a win-win. Look, I'm not a mercenary. I'm helping men to save their time and money too.

Lest you think I am an evil man-hater, I'm not. This was after all, not my idea, but the idea of two MEN. It's really just one on one speed dating, with the option of dinner thrown in if things go well. I'm also not a "trophy-husband hunter" as I was recently dubbed by someone I met one time and don't think highly of. I have given guys that normally would never be my type a chance, and tried to make it work. I've even been dumped by a couple of them. Which really kills you by the way... to be dumped by someone you were just trying to convince yourself to like. Anyway,whatever. I'm open. I'm just trying to make dating better for everyone.

My next flash of dating brilliance will involve kissing when you open the door and meet for the first time. It gives new meaning to "you had me at hello" and you figure out if the attraction is there before the date, potentially saving even more time and trouble. I got this idea from Travis and it seems to be working out really well for him.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Ghetto Slang

Being from the hood of Ann Arbor (Stonebridge specifically, or as my brothers dubbed it, "The BRIDGE" - Bomb-Riding-Illiterate-Dope-Gangstas - no "E" they're illiterate.)

I will freely admit that because of my upbringing, I am known to easily toss around the occasional dope, straight, or tiggity-tight bit of ebonic sweetness. It wasn't until yesterday though that I realized I am so much a part of my background, that the hood is indeed such an integral part of me, that I often do so without even realizing it.

We were wrapping up our final day of shooting (not the gun kind, lest I've confused you with all the hood-rat talk) when Noel, our project sponsor at LA Health Care came down to tell us thanks and goodbye. Let me set the scene. Brian, Micah and Nick (Root folk) are breaking down the last of the equipment on one side of the room, and I am standing at the other side of the room with Noel (the ethnically ambiguous LAHC boss), Karen Garman, (the white, 50 yr old consultant who sold LAHC this project), and Cherie (the African-American LAHC employee who was helping direct). Emily who was the project lead for LAHC found out her grandfather died that morning and was unable to be with us. I assumed with the funeral and what-not that she would be out of work for the next several days. Ok, so you've got the scene and the cast of playa's... I mean characters.

In the midst of my conversation with Noel, Karen and Cherie, I tell them that I will probably need to be in contact with them at the beginning of next week to finalize some details on a couple games, AND, "who should I contact, because I assume Emily will be OUT OF POCKET."

Noel looks at me with a baffled expression on her face and says, "What do you mean? What is this....out of pocket??" Now I'm confused. I can't figure out if she's joking or if she is speaking a foreign language or if I am on Candid Camera. (I'm hoping it's the last one, cause I'd love it if that show was back!) I then reply, "Ummm...what do YOU mean?" Karen looks a little confused too and all of a sudden Cherie jumps in and she says, "Oh, she doesn't understand you, cause that's Ghetto talk. Out of pocket is Ghetto slang." Noel looks a little less confused, because now she understands she SHOULDN'T get "out of pocket" she's not from the me.

At this point I am trying not to bust a gut, but at least I understand it's the phrase she is confused about and I explain that out of pocket is indeed my Ann Arbor Ghetto slang for unavailable, out of the office, or in some cases (not this one) really "tight" or "the bomb-diggity". As in, "Girl you are seriously out of pocket. Look at you in those jeans." Get it?

All was finally resolved, the project wrapped, and I am left incredibly relieved that Cherie was there to help bridge the gap between my crazy ghetto slang and Noel's ethnically ambiguous lifestyle away from the world of "street-cred."

** Editors note: I was just informed by one of my readers that this blog is confusing and that you can't tell if I was serious or not in thinking/writing that 'out of pocket' was ghetto slang. Let me clarify - NO. The thing that was so funny (and there's nothing funnier than trying to explain humor) was that it IS NOT ghetto slang, that the corporate boss lady thought it was, and that Cherie who the boss lady trusted as a ghetto slang spokesperson really thought it was too and believed she was clarifying the situation for everyone by saying it was. The whole thing was a bizarre English language fiasco. Somewhat like this post apparently.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Acting really IS a skill

Sometimes you think something is really, really funny and then you realize it's 1:00 a.m. This was not the case last night. Well, it was 1:00 am, but what we were laughing at in delirium last night, was still pretty funny today.

Yesterday, Brian, Micah and I spent 14 hours on set filming a compelling film about anthrax for LA County Health. It was a long, long day filled with a series of Twilight Zone-like mis-adventures.

It began with our arrival at the hotel Tuesday night. Brian was in his hotel room when he suddenly found himself in a crouching tiger hidden dragon stance as someone pulled a break and enter on his room. No damage done, except perhaps to the poor guy who came in like a lion and and left whimpering like a lamb, "Please, please, don't hurt me, I just want to check your room."

Micah didn't have a break in, at least not after he arrived...but he was pleasantly surprised by what can only be defined as impeccable hotel service. One of his beds was already made down and someone was even thoughtful enough to roll around in it and rumple it up a bit to make sure it was perfectly comfortable and ready for him. He was also excited to see towels in the sink and rather gently used bathroom facilities. Perhaps the best surprise though was the loose change scattered about for him so he could have a little treasure hunt. Now that's what I call a thoughtful touch!

So, that's how our journey began, but these little footnotes were not the cause of our giddy laughter last night. Oh, no, that was triggered by the lack of commitment to his craft of our second Guillermo (the father/husband) in our film. He bailed an hour before we were ready to roll and Brian was forced to step in to the role. He carried it off smashingly (He looks like a Guillermo, father of 3, que no? Si.) EXCEPT, yes except for when things got a bit steamy on screen.

The actress playing Maria (Guillermo's wife) bore a striking resemblance to Catherine Zeta-Joes. Brian spent most of the morning commenting on how attractive she was. Just as a casual, purely platonic observer of course. I mean he is a newlywed after all. This was all before he knew that soon he would hold the coveted role of her beloved.

There's a scene where Maria comes home from work and Guillermo/Brian is sitting at the kitchen table with his mother in law. Maria, who is a very warm woman, comes walking in and naturally moved to greet her husband in a casual, well-acted, happily married way, but I kept noticing on camera that she would suddenly freeze just a foot or so before she got to Brian and then as Brian sat rigidly like a deer in headlights she would abruptly turn to her mother and hug her.

I finally called this strange phenomenon out and mentioned that they didn't seem very natural. Their interaction felt like a really uncomfortable first date. The only thing missing was Brian giving her a high five. Maria totally agreed - she said she kept thinking when she was in the "role" that she should go and hug her husband, but as soon as she got close and caught his eye she would stop because he looked so uncomfortable and terrified. I told them to relax and try to get in to their roles, that Maria should walk in and just kiss Brian on the forehead as she greeted her mother while Brian yelled for the kids to be quiet. Sounds simple right?

It wasn't. We had no idea the depth of Brian's teen crush or the impact it would have on his ability to act. As she walked over for take one, and bent to kiss Brian on the head, he raised his arms at a right angle to embrace her in a very stiff manner, only to recognize that in his position - seated below her - (at about eye line with her chest) positioning was a bit awkward. He just sat stiffly while she kissed him and gently, and repeatedly patted her hips with a frozen smile on his face.

All who were treated to the pleasure of this scene, completely lost it at this point, including the children. After this display we were forced to agree on two things. 1. Acting really is a skill and 2. Brian should just let Maria do all the touching and save his awkward pats for his lucky wife.

I am to be famous

I have many a story to share, but little time to write, so I thought I would share a delicious little nugget with you, my loyal readers (aka Kristin) until I can get serious and spill some SERIOUS dirt.

Tuesday was the Flash Media Day and I was set up with an interview room, ready to grab some of the players and interview them for the documentary. I was interviewing one kid (Tyree) from USC and we talked for quite a while. In the middle of it, this 7'1" player that the Utah Jazz sent down to play for the Flash, walked in the door and plunked himself down right behind where I was interviewing and just sat there stretching. I thought it was odd, since I hadn't asked him to come in to the room and there were local TV stations outside waiting to interview him. (he is the most famous player. I call him Fez because he told me I cannot pronounce his full name.)

When I finished interviewing Tyree, I turned and saw Fez still sitting there stretching his gi-normous legs. I asked, "Ummm, Did you want me to interview you?" He replied, "Yes. Of course." In other words, Doi. (I love the word doi.)

He proceeded to tell me, "You interview long time. You have much to say. I like keep short." I told him I would do my best. I started to ask him questions and was met with disdainful reply after disdainful reply.

Shauri: Are your parents staying in Russia?
Fez: Who is from Russia?
Shauri: Ummm..I mean, the Ukraine.
Fez: Yes you are correct. It is the Ukraine.
Shauri: Will your parents stay there?
Fez: Yes. I will like them there.
Shauri: How are the living conditions in the Ukraine?
Fez: unintelligle russian/ukrainian mubling
Shauri: Huh?
Fez: I said, the cheese in the moustrap never is free.
Shauri: Ahhhh...ummm... ok. (thinking)
Fez: I want one thing only. I am to be famous. I do not want fans, just I am famous. I will only win, I will be famous and I will also be actor.
Shauri: Interesting. So are you going to L.A.?
Fez: No. I will NEVER go to LA as long as there is Kobe Bryant in that place. I hate Kobe Bryant.
(so basically we agree on one thing. Well, Kobe and the mousetrap, so two.)

And so on. I was eventually told by the PR guy to wrap it up because important people (not me) were waiting to talk to Fez, but when I said, "I think we're being to told to wrap it up so you can talk to others" He said, "Let them wait. I go when I am ready. YOu will interview me." Hello.

He's a trip. And humongous. I was scared if I stopped interviewing him he might squash me like a bug. Which by the way I mentioned to a 6'11" guy at camp. As in, "You must just look down at me and think, I can squash her like a bug." Answer, "Yes."

Every day is a magical adventure.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Playa's take two

After going off on that last tangent about the word playa, thought I'd tell you a little story about my trip to the airport. To pick up real players. Basketball players.

The team is finally starting to take shape. It's pretty exciting for the staff (and observers like myself)after months of laying groundwork to see the pieces of the puzzle finally falling in to place, and taking shape.

I went with Mark (a Flash sales guy) to the airport to pick up three players. I filmed their arrival and trip back to their apartment. One of them ended up missing his flight, so we just got Kevin Krugger and Kevin "Butter" Johnson. It was interesting to see the contrast between the two.

Kevin K. was very reserved and quiet and hard to draw out. His dad is Lon Krugger and he's been around the basketball world for a long time. He just missed the NBA cut and was the first pick for the Flash. He seems to treat this as a job and he's just biding his time.

Butter on the other hand was THRILLED to be here and was excited about everyone and everything. He's been in the league for a couple years and hasn't made it to the NBA yet, but he has high hopes. He loved the mountains, the opportunity to play in Utah, the apartment, the gym, you name it. I had two takeaways from this meeting.

1. It is important to be a positive person. Butter had so much positive energy it gave me energy to just be around him. Even little things he framed positively. We were pulling in to a parking spot in our 15-passenger van and I was making jokes to Mark about his "interesting" parking job. Butter just said, "Hey Mark, don't sweat it, this is your first time in this car, you doing great, you doing great!" I just thought, wow - it was a simple thing, but it really lifted Mark and made him feel good. How simple it can be to be positive and to lift - and how much better.

2. There is a difference between approaching something as a job and approaching it as your dream. Butter may be giving me a "snow job" as our jaded PR friend Kent told me, but he couldn't wait to hit the floor and to practice. Kevin wasn't in a hurry at all. This is Butter's life and something he's wanted since he was a kid and he LOVES it. He will do anything to make it happen. I don't know exactly what I want to say here, but I just thought the contrast was interesting and I wanted Butter to get there much more than Kevin. A dream is more inspiring.

That's it. I'm excited to see how the cuts turn out. I'm afraid I'm going to get attached to all these guys as I interview them. It will be tough to see almost half get cut and to know they are still battling for a dream they may or may not reach, but that they're one more step back. When do you stop fighting for a dream?

Goin' to the airport Playa

Yesterday I had a lunch date scheduled which I was forced to cancel because I found out it was airport pickup day and I needed to be on call with my camera. I sent a text message to my date informing him that I couldn't make it, but as some of you may be aware, your text message is only allowed so many characters before it cuts it off.

As fate would have it, mine ended a little shorter than I anticipated and read like this, "Just found out I have to film an airport run at noon, player." I got an immediate response: "I'm not a player.." He may or may not be, but regardless, it wasn't the message I was trying to send.
Lesson learned: Technology can thwart as at every turn. And if you don't believe me, let me remind you what Creed taught us in probably the best Office episode this season:

Creed: That's some fun stuff. When does the website go up?
Ryan: As fast as possible. We want to start retraining people A.S.A.P., so we can hit the ground running with a new system.
Creed: Cool beans.
Ryan exits.

Creed: We're screwed.
Michael: Who is?
Creed: Us? You and me. The old timers.
Michael: I am not old. You are old. You are like a hundred.
Creed: You're over 40, that's the cut off. Are you listening to what he's saying? Re-training. New system. Youth. I'm telling you this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.

Oscar: Creed?
Creed: Yes, sir.
Oscar: Everything OK? [Creed has made his hair jet black]
Creed: Everything's cool, dude.

Michael: Still my office, Ryan. [Ryan sits down] Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also illegal, because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right. Did you know that the Age Discrimination and Employment Act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older? I did.
Toby: Technically, he's right.
Michael: Hey, shut up Toby. Look, why do we as a society hate old people so much?
Creed: Because they're lame.

Ryan: [speaking on the phone] Yes, I understand that David. I just felt that if we were to downsize Kelly and then outsource customer service to India which a lot of companies... Yeah, no, yes Kelly is Indian... I understand that's confusing.
Creed: [looks at vending machine] Hey brah, I've been meaning to ask you, can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy's gotta ride the bull, am I right? Later skater.

I realize this is a long excerpt, but seriously, it bears another look. Maybe the funniest dialogue EVER. Anyway, my point - Technology can screw you. On the positive side, my date is still on, just re-scheduled. I'll let you know if the "player" text was foreshadowing.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

S/S/S (Sorry So Sappy, not Short)

I just read Lisa's blog about how much she loves and respects her parents and how grateful she is for their example and it reminded me how I was feeling about 17 months ago when my parents were about to leave, so if you're not a fan of sappy sentimentality, now would be your cue to leave and come back for tomorrow's blog.

A couple weeks ago Travis taught Sunday School (he's quite good) and in his lesson he read the letter that he wrote to mom and dad at duck beach before they left. I had forgotten how touching it was as he read about how much he loved them and the kind of example they were for us, and how they were his best friends and practically perfect in every way. Obviously there are always flaws in all human relationship, but from a parent perspective I can't think of any two who have tried harder, given more, or lived as better examples of Christ-like lives.

I was just thinking the other day about how dad is often recognized in the business world by colleagues and church-folk, etc..for the ways he's touched their lives, but mom probably has no idea the depth and breadth of the people she's touched. So this blogs for you!

People that only come in contact with mom once love her. I was remembering how Mike Bell in DC was telling me dish for dish the meals that mom prepared when he came to our house 8 years ago and how great it was and how he wanted to marry someone like her. And how a friend I just ran in to (ED) from my freshman year of college wanted to know with his first breath -"How's Delsa?" Before he even asked what was new in my life he asked about you. It must feel good to know that people you probably haven't thought about in 15 years, still think of you. I can't think of one person who has crossed your path that you haven't touched and made them feel loved and special. You have a gift, and I know you are currently touching hundreds of more lives on the other side of the world - I witnessed it in the missionaries reactions to you. (And in that crazy investigator who looked like Albert Einstein and pushed me out of the way to get to you.)

So, I realize this is neither light, nor funny, or maybe even interesting to most of you, but it's from the heart and it was time for a little shout out. In the interest of recognition and not being too sappy I will remind everyone that not only has mom touched everyone she's come in contact with, but chances are she has also flashed them. If there was ever a contest for most likely to take her clothes off in public unintentionally, the prize would have to go to you mom. I love you.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Garrett in Real Life

After much arm-twisting and just the tiniest bit of begging I managed to convince Garrett to go see the movie, "Dan in Real Life" with me. I'm not sure what he was so opposed to, but I guess he thought it be another dumb, formulaic, chick flick. Boy was he wrong.

If you haven't seen the movie - you should. Even Garrett found himself laughing several, nay many times during this flick. It actually reminded me of our family a little - they even had a talent night, which in our lingo would be family game night. Garrett leaned over to me during that part and said, "Our family is WAY more talented than that." OK.

There were some great lines, like "This corn is an angel." and "I would even call you to tell you I'm not going to call." and "You are the murderer of love!!!" Garrett's favorite part was when they were setting Dan up with some girl who for obvious reasons was called "Ruthie pig-faced Draper" and his two brothers made up a song about her and sang it to the family before she arrived. He especially loved the line, "You can be her big bad wolf." It was pretty hysterical and awesome.

It won't win any Oscars, but it was entertaining, and sweet and even a bit touching. I liked when he arrived at his parents with the rest of the family and his mom told him that since his brother invited a friend, Dan would have to stay in the "special room" aka the laundry room with a bed in it. It reminded me of how Travis, Garrett and I got the special room at Duck with the bunkbeds. No mate, no kids= special room. Incentive enough.

Monday, November 5, 2007

The Polls have closed.

It's official--
although both races were tight, well only one really, the results are in and the people have spoken.
Apparently popular opinion is that I will get married before Travis and Garrett, (although no one was also a popular choice.) I am actually very disappointed in all of you and your ability to choose. I hope none of you are gamblers. Sorry Travis, maybe you'll win next year when we're all still single. You've got my vote!

In the other poll it was decided in a VERY tight race that I will have to choose marriage over blogging. You think you want this people, but I think we'll all regret that choice. Or we would, if the option was really there. I guess its a win-win-sort of. whatever. thanks for voting.

Dreams do come true

"With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity."
-Nair, Keshavan

This week I have had the opportunity to see courage up close.

When I told Brandt about one of the kids that had tried out for the team and some of his circumstance that not only physically handicapped him from making the team, but also made his life challenging (father passing away 11 mos ago, mother losing job, etc..) he wanted to do something for this kid to give him a lift. Each day a new challenge seems to confront this family, and they never fail to face it with optimism.

Today I brought the crew out to shoot b-roll of this kid and his little brothers shooting hoops in their driveway. We arranged for Thurl Bailey (one of the kids' heroes) to show up with Brandt and surprise them. They brought a signed ball, flash gear, season tickets and an offer for this boy to help with the team in training camp. Pretty great surprise for kids who get excited by a yearly chance to go out to dinner.

When they drove up in their Mercedes hummer-like car the boys and their mom were wondering who was there. I asked them if they were expecting anyone and the 16 yr old turned to me and said, "We don't know ANYONE who would drive....that!" As they watched, Thurl and Brandt climbed out of the car, and their jaws dropped. They immediately recognized Thurl and they were thrilled.

The mom got up and said, "Oh my gosh - Thurl Bailey at our house. They love you." The boys were excited by everything and couldn't believe an actual NBA player was at THEIR house. Fred got to play horse with Thurl and was excited to tell everyone he got to play horse against an NBA player.

Their mother summed it up by saying, "This all happened because my son had the courage to go out and do something that nobody else thought he should do. Good things happen when you believe in yourself and try, even if it's not what you anticipate." The youngest boy looked at me and said, "This was the best day of my life. I forgot that good things can happen."

It was so generous of Thurl and Brandt to make this happen and it was amazing to be a small part of it and a witness to it as we captured it on film.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Internet is scary

What an odd thing to say...why is the internet scary? Is it the online predators, or the credit card fraud? Oh no, that's not it.

Let's pretend for a minute that you are part of some kind of online network. Something like facebook, or I don't know, maybe LDS Linkup. Ok, yeah, let's say linkup. Imagine that people are checking you out on this site and maybe even attempting to contact you. Let's pretend you don't answer them, but you don't worry about it because they're online and you will never meet them in REAL LIFE. And then you do. Maybe you end up going to visit an old friend for dinner and that online person says, 15 minutes after meeting you, "I know how I know you." Maybe you would even respond, "I didn't know you did know me." And then, bam! They hit you with the sneak attack - "yeah, yeah, I know you from linkup." And then it all comes rushing back. Yikes. That could be really, really uncomfortable. And hey, I'm not saying that happened to me tonight (it did), but if it did, or does, you should DEFINITELY hope that they are at least a little bit loony (the odds are in your favor) and that they tell stories like this at your dinner:

" I remember when I got back from my mission and I was tryng to date people, you know just friendly people in my neighborhood (Brian H. interjects: You mean like the mailman or garbage man?) and I asked my dad if I should be looking to marry someone I was attracted to. My dad said that was a normal expectation, but then dad asked me, "Do you know when I was most attracted to your mother?" This guy (who if he was real, might be named Jack) said, "No."
"Well, I thought she was most attractive when she was 7 months pregnant because of the life inside of her and the glow thing." He showed Jack a picture of Jack's mom wearing a sundress and t-shirt when she was pregnant. So fast forward and Jack says shortly after that conversation he met a girl that he thought was attractive, but they only had time to go out once or twice before she moved. He said when he was saying goodbye to her she was wearing this red sundress with a t-shirt and suddenly he got dizzy and he told her, " You know what, I think you'd look beautiful 7 months pregnant." I'm not sure what went through this girl's head, but I do know what would go through mine, and I also know that he is still single.

If you think that's good stuff, it gets better. Roommate number two got home midway through dinner and shared with us some of his success stories. He said he never has a girlfriend at Christmas and when he has given girls gifts they always break up with him. I asked him what some examples might be. Here was my favorite:

"I gave this one girl a nutcracker for christmas. She didn't like it. What's wrong with that?" (By the way, lest you make the same mistake I did and think it's a really random gift- he meant the character, not the tool. Both still baffle me. Later it came out that his mother picked out the gift. Huh??) He ended all of his stories with "what's wrong with that?" ie. I gave her cash, what's wrong with that? The best was when he told about one girl who kept losing her keys and so he bought her a key finder for christmas. "So I bought her a key finder, what's wrong with that?" We said, "nothing, that's thoughtful." He answered, "She was offended. She hated it." The poor guy can't catch a break and I ask you, what's wrong with that??

It was great to see Brian and he made some delicious moroccan couscous. I was very impressed with his cooking skills. I also met his very nice girlfriend Kim. They seem to be very happy. And I can see why - they live with constant, unintentional entertainment.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Manny Being Manny

If you want to see a hilarious clip of Manny on Leno - check this out. Stay tuned and you can see hilarious Ortiz/Papelbon banter as well. True gems for the Red Sox fan.

Keely's Brilliance

Halloween came and went without too much excitement. Normally at Root we dress up, so I decided to keep the tradition alive. No one was here to appreciate it, so I made sure to give myself plenty of attention. Not all positive, cause truth be told it wouldn't have been that way at Root and I wanted to keep the experience authentic. After work, I headed over to Debbie & Steve's house in Lehi to see Shawn & Lisa who are in town with my by beautiful niece Keely and nephew Benji.

When I walked in the house, Keely (she's brilliant too) looked at me, paused and then said, "'re Shauri!" I swear I can't pull anything over on that one. She also insisted I take my wig off. When I refused she pulled a sneak play and suddenly flew at me from behind tearing it off as she ran. I could have been upset, but I had to recognize the brilliance of the plan and the tenacity.

As you can see in the picture to the right, Keely pretty much loved the Flash Draft Party the next night. And she kept the face painting table pretty busy. She would have them paint something on her face, then come show her mom, and march back for a new piece of art. By the end of the evening she had stuff on both cheeks, her forehead and up and down both arms. I'm sure the dancers NEVER tired of painting this girl. I would suggest to Lisa and Shawn that they never introduce her to tattoo parlors.

Overall, I think the draft party went really well. I had a couple guys there filming the event and I think we got some good footage. It's interesting to see the process from the inside, which was the idea - to let the fans see how an NBA draft would work. The Flash ended up getting both of the guys that they wanted for their first two picks. Shawn was disappointed that they didn't go with Air Georgia of Michigan fame, but apparently they weren't looking for high flying thrills, just solid performance and a good attitude. Crazy. :)

At the end of the evening I was talking to the younger brother of one of the assistant coaches (Kevin), and he said something I thought was cool. He talked about how he and Kevin used to play at being coaches and picking teams when they were little, and how cool it was that Kevin was actually doing it for real. I thought this was another simple, but great illustration of what the film is all about - dreams - and the different ways that people realize them. And how exciting it is to reach them. What a great moment to sit at that draft table and be picking players for a real semi-pro team just like you imagined when you were a kid. I really love hearing these stories, and it's interesting that now I notice them and find them even when I'm not looking.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

A-Rod Saves the Game

Special shout out to Bridget Kaiser of Root Learning fame (and nannying for Doug Mirabelli fame) for sending out this hilarious article from the Onion.

Definitely check it out if you hate A-rod. And I have to believe at this point, that's most of America.


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