Sunday, November 1, 2009

If I only had a brain


Last weekend I was in Lancaster, PA visiting my friends the Baird. I didn't realize until too late that I had packed everything I needed for the trip except my brain. As you might imagine forgetting your brain can lead to some unpredictable events.

Let me share two of my favorites.

After trick or treating with the kids, I was following Sara back to her house. We decided we should go through the Sonic drive through because we were both famished. My car was first, so I placed my order, pulled around, paid for my food, and got my food. Check, check, check. Of course all of this could be considered brain-optional sort of activity so no big panic.

After I got my bag of food I was thinking about how I had to wait for Sara to get hers. I had already made the cashier-lady think I was a little crazy when I pulled around and she told me the price, and I responded with a very serious look, "Oh, you mean you expect money for this food?" HA! HA! HA! One of us thoroughly enjoyed the joke. It wasn't her.

Anyway, I'm sitting in the car, bag in hand, thinking about how I have to wait for Sara so it seemed only natural to start eating. I pulled out an onion ring and started munching happily away. I was perfectly comfortable and thoroughly enjoying myself when I glanced up at the window and noticed the cashier lady giving me a strange look. I smiled at her, waved and even offered her an onion ring. She shook her head, signaled at me to roll down my window and as I did it suddenly dawned on me.

OH. Sara can't get her food until I move out of the space by the window. They don't want me to sit here and eat. Even if I share. Yeah. That wait could have been a very long wait if the cashier lady was a little more accommodating and less confrontational.

It doesn't end there.

The next morning I went out to my car to run to the grocery store when I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I stopped to talk to the neighbor lady who was at her car for a minute. When we finished I turned and ran up to the patio door and opened it.

You can imagine my surprise when I stepped in to the kitchen, shut the door and was face to face with a GIGANTIC man in his boxers. That I didn't recognize.

The funny part is that it didn't really startle me. And I didn't panic or run out. I knew the Bairds were well known for just walking around in their undies, so I was just looking at him trying to puzzle out which Baird this was, and how come I didn't notice him at Chris' house last night in those really large, blue underdrawers.

He was not as calm. He turned on me with a glower and said, "I don't think you belong here."

Rude. I belong everywhere. Recognize.

I raised an eyebrow and calmly replied, "You may be right." Turned. Walked out the patio and saw his wife staring at me from by her car. I realized Chris lived next door. To her I said, "Hey, thanks for the heads up on that one." She just shook her head.

I dunno. I'm pretty sure if I had brought my brain these things wouldn't have happened, but there is another theory circulating that even with a brain people (Delsa) can do things that might simply appear brainless and I may be experiencing a bad case of genetics. Totally NOT my theory mom.

The last event which I would like to think was done without my brain was betting against Chris' dad on the Michigan/ Penn State game. I lost (well Michigan did) and I was forced to don this lovely shirt which Chris' dad gleefully bought for me. If PSU had lost, this life size Joe Paterno figure which stays all season in their front window would have had to wear a Michigan shirt. Ah well...perhaps next year.

6 comments:

Kris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kris said...

I love when you forget to take your brain...why can't you do that more often? It makes for very entertaining posts. ( : A gigantic man in the blue underdrawers - that made me laugh out loud.

Elizabeth Downie said...

I was just thinking tonight that I wish I would use my brain more often. Or not forget to bring it with me. I'm glad I'm not alone. And I love your stories!! Hilarious!

Delsa said...

I thought this was very hilarious and was enjoying a wonderful laugh about it until the very end. Now I'm just thinking it was quite rude to pull your mother into this.

valerie said...

I just got off the phone with Anne-Marie and she told me so many great things about you and your family, and that I had to check out your blog. I agree with her, you are so hilarious! It was fun meeting you and I hope you think it isn't too creepy that I am leaving a comment on your blog! If ever in Kansas City, please hang out with me. :)

The Spin-ster said...

Valerie---HI!!
I had no idea Anne-Marie knew about my blog (embarassing), but I'm glad she told you about it so we could connect. I don't think it's creepy at all - I'm thrilled. I was just sad we had to leave so early Sat night, cause I was enjoying hanging with you guys so much! I will definitely come see you in KC if I can ever get there, and I'm telling you...check out jobs in Ann Arbor! :) My email is squinn@rootlearning.com. Drop me a line!

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