Making it Personal

I am reminded of an event back in 1987, when our family van/bus got caught inadvertently in the middle of a small town parade in Hell, Michigan.

My dad joyously shouted out for all the kids to wave to the crowds, acting like we belonged and enjoying the attention. My mom alternated between participating (out of obligation to the cheering crowds) and turning towards my dad, hiding her face and saying, "Oh Bob!"

I now know what that felt like. To be two parts ashamed, and one part secretly delighted.

At the U of M, U of U basketball game we attended Travis became Bob, and I was Delsa. We were seated on the floor, right behind the bench. Above us and to the right was the U of U student section. There was one particularly obnoxious boy wearing Wrangler jeans and a big old buckle, who kept taunting the bench and making comments to us as well.

Travis finally turned on him, and I assume because he was lacking RELEVANT material due to the fact that Michigan was losing, screamed at the kid, "Nice Belt Buckle!"

The kid became enraged and turned his attention fully to Travis. He made a comment about losing and rather than engage in that (again) RELEVANT debate, Travis shouted (while rubbing and jiggling his belly) "blllbbb, bllbb, bllb...you're FAT! and you're UGLY!"

I was shocked, appalled, (laughing) and hiding my face. The kid was on fire. After several heated returns between the two of them about meeting outside after the game and having some sort of a duel, Travis finally sat down.

I hid my face, Jessica hid her face, and Rotolu came marching over, "Hey Trav - I'm with you if you want to meet him outside." Great. Nothing like turning 30 and really, truly maturing.

blllbb, bllllb, blllb...You're Fat. Who's the idiot from idiot heaven now?