Monday, March 9, 2009

The Horrid Bouquet Toss


This weekend I attended the wedding of a good friend and roommate from my time in DC. It was beautiful and after a long, hard road for them it was really touching to see them so happy and at peace with their decision. It made me very happy.

The reception was a different story. I think what I witnessed there is a great metaphor for the spinster's situation at this time of life.

All of you are familiar with the awesome tossing of the bouquet tradition and the throwing of the garter. I'm sure some of you have been the victim of, or witnessed the victimization of the poor girl who is the lone single survivor of her friends--forced to stand alone in the circle while the bouquet is directly thrown to her amidst laughter and not so witty banter. Humiliating? Yes.

I fully expected that to be the case this time, but not so. I think I have now graduated beyond being the last single woman standing to an even worse fate. At this reception we actually had about 20 women giddily grouped, arms outstretched in desperation to catch the bouquet. The tables turned when they called for the single men...there were 3. And one was 13. And another was 60.

As I watched the spectacle, at first I felt pity for that poor gentleman who was not the center of all the hooting and hollering, and then my pity shifted back to it's appropriate focus - me. 20 women. 1 man. You do the math.

2 comments:

Tricia said...

I think garter and bouquet tosses should be banned from all modern-day weddings. Why? Because at a wedding several years ago of a not-so-nice bride, she (nazi bride) walked the dance floor with a microphone in hand and called me out specifically to come and catch the bouquet because, "Hey, Tricia, the clock has been ticking for you for like 15 years now!" Then the sadistic DJ put his spotlight on me as I sat there shocked and in tears.

JJ said...

I caught a bouquet by accident when I was 12*. I think it cursed me.

*It truly was an accident...I was mortified to even be standing out there with the "women", but everyone thought it was "cute". I wouldn't look up and the bouquet hit me on the head and dropped into my arms. The other "women" no longer thought it was cute that I was out there, cause I stole their moment. Whatever.

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