Who Wore it Best?

For those of you who read (or will admit to reading) US magazine, this title will require no explanation. For those of you who don't, here's the quick-ee rundown. US magazine finds women who are wearing the same outfit, snaps a pic, and then posts them together in the magazine asking the fans, "Who wore it best?" It's aswesome because it takes a situation where a woman is already embarassed or uncomfortable because she's wearing the same outfit as someone else, and then finds a deliciously evil way to make her feel even more self-conscious. Hey, take a look at this other woman wearing the same outfit and wonder if everyone thinks she looks BETTER than you in your twinner outfit.

Here's a link to the real one if you want to see how it works:
http://usmagazine.com/who_wore_it_best?id=63

So last night was Heather Fortuna's wedding. All was happily sailing along until Wallace leaned over to me and said, "That girl is wearing the SAME outfit as you!" But it got worse, this girl's BFF walked by after her and was wearing another twinner dress! Wallace and Jamie were cracking up and thinking it was embarassing for me, but they have no idea of the power of the blog and how it has liberated me. I embraced the US magazine tradition on its face and said, "This is great! New blog material! Come on and take a picture of me with these girls so I can post it and find out who you the readers think "Wore it Best."

I got Jamie to come with me and round up the girls for a photo, and it was hilarious because once people saw us together posing for Jamie a big crowd gathered around and soon EVERYONE was taking pictures. Everyone loves Twins...or Triplets in this case. The lesson people? An embarassing moment handled confidently can become a celebrity moment. Just make sure it's not a Britney moment.

So now it's your turn to speak. Who wore it best? (Vote at top left of page)

Texting = Good Communication

Wallace, Travis and I were going to go out with Mike C. last night because he is one of the few players that does like to leave his apartment jail and actually get out, but we ended up staying home. (Because we couldn't think of anything to do!)

MC kept texting me to see if we were going to do anything. Let me just add a side note here- I don't get texting. People in this younger generation (I can't believe I'm saying "kids today") use it as their sole form of communication. Remember the silent Thanksgiving dinner? They weren't talking, but they sure were texting each other like mad. In fact one of them texted me! And as I ran across the room to grab my phone to get the urgent call, I was shocked to see the message was from someone sitting three feet away from me, and the message said, "Dinner was really good - thanks. Are you going to California?" I mean I'M SITTING RIGHT THERE- ASK ME!!!! Ok, back to the story.

At one point Mike randomly wrote, "Are you married if you don't mind me asking? Was that your friend that came to Thanksgiving?"

I was with "my friend" (wallace) when I got it and after reading it to her, at first pass, I thought - he must be interested in one of us. Then my little mind kept working and put two and two together and I realized....He thinks I'm a lesbian!! He's asking if we are just friends AND if I'm married!!! I tend to sometimes be impulsive, and Wallace slightly more so, so she insisted I tell him that we are not lesbians immediately. I wrote back and told him just that- I am not married, and I'm not a lesbian if that's what you are implying. He wrote back, "Lesbians? LOL, I just wondered if she was your friend."

Ok, so maybe I'm (I mean we're) a little paranoid. But come on, why would she be at dinner if she wasn't a friend? Of course he continued texting and let me know that he was hoping that all three of us could get together and be "friends". I think he was leaving it open for interpretation, but I chose not to go down that path again with my wild imagination.


As a side note, the activity we finally settled on for the 3 of us was Game Night 2007 live. This came about through the following texted convo:

M.C.: What is there to do in Provo?

Shauri: Well, movies, bowling, rollerskating, shopping, and games.

(I thought the response to this would be radio silence. As in - that's lame.)

M.C.: What kind of games? video?

Shauri: (in my head: he really wants to know what games?) Video games, card games, board games, reindeer games, you name it they love it!

(I figure this will end the conversation. Wrong. Turns out he loves...)

M.C.: What kind of board games?

Shauri (in head: Seriously?) What kind do you like?

M.C.: Monopoly.

(Does anyone else find this hilarious yet? I just can't believe this is real.)

Shauri: Awesome. Any others?

M.C.: Yeah. (Period. That's it, just "yeah.")

Shauri: Ok. Well, I'll tell you what. You, me, Wallace - game night 2007 Live.

I don't know why, but for a guy from the streets of Philly who is used to going out clubbing, has a baby-mama with twins, and is used to doing other, more, errr.. urban activities, it really tickled my funny bone that the activity he latched on to was "board games." And that he actually had one in mind - Monopoly. He's AWESOME! Just goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover.

So that's it. Game Night is coming up and it's gonna be hot. I'll keep you posted as I know you are all glued to your seats in anticipation.

He's a lover, not a fighter

I am posting this specifically for Mom. If these pictures don't make you love our slightly confused Ukranian lover, I don't know what will. He's helping the "little guard" up after a foul. I mean their faces are precious! I'm sure Kevin doesn't know what's going on!

This one does seem to imply that maybe he isn't finding very many Utah girls. But c'mon - it's cute. (It was the post-game shot right after Cuffee here drained the winning 3.)

Oh what a difference a win makes

If every Flash game is as exciting as these last two home games, I may have just switched my allegiance from college ball to the D-League.

Once again tonight, the game came down to a last second shot and with the Flash down by one point, with 1.8 seconds on the clock our boy Michael Cuffey took the pass, calmly looked down and took a step behind the 3-point line (note: he only needed 2) and drained the 3 getting fouled in the process. He made the free throw and put the game away.


The arena went crazy!!! 4 Jazz players were there tonight on the front row as well as Frank Layden, Smitty, and Jerry Sloane. These guys all said they would be regulars at the games they were so exciting. When Cuffey sank the winning shot they were all on their feet hootin' and hollerin'.

What's especially exciting is that Travis can take a deep breath and relax because there will be no anger in tomorrow's ops meeting. He was pacing the arena all night long looking like a caged lion. Brandt was on cloud nine hugging everyone and giving high fives. It honestly felt like we had just won the world championship of....well... the world.

The players are all starting to jell, and some are beginning to actually take floor leader roles, and you know what? I even think they are starting to TALK to each other and just people. Like me.

In filming yesterday, I did learn what a day in the life of a player is all about. Sleep until 10 am, go to practice at 11 until 1. Then come home and take a nap, watch a million Martin re-runs on video, lay around the house, take another nap, text and go to bed. It's like jail - no one leaves the house. And some of them actually like it. Brandon Wallace, the Celtics player said he would do the same thing if he was at home or in Boston. He'd just chill. Wow.

He also told me something kind of cool. One of his basketball heroes was Kevin Garnett. He was so excited when he made it on to the Celtics and got to meet him. He said Kevin took him out shopping and bought him 3 suits and told him to work hard and make things happen. Can you imagine how great it is to follow your dream and to succeed at it to the point where you become a peer to your hero? Pretty cool. Oh, and getting 3 free suits isn't too shabby either, although I'd prefer to just have the cash.

Everyone will be relieved to know that I did NOT try to vault any chairs tonight and managed to stay with my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Sex Ed - Ukrainian Style

Time for another update on our favorite Ukranian (NOT Russian) player.

Yesterday, after filming at practice I was sitting on the couch talking to some of the players. Our old friend Fez, found his way over and started to chat with me. He told me about the player meeting they went to and how some of the sexual health material was rather unpleasant to look at. Then things got really interesting. Again, I bring you Fireside Chats with Fez:

Fez: Did you know that these, uh, how you say, yes, condoms are only...

Shauri: ..97% effective?

Fez: No..not thees. I am saying to you that they are only effective for 40% of time to prevent sexual disease.

Shauri: Ahh, interesting. That seems like a low number.

Fez: Yes. It is low and these doctors, they are the only ones who know thees and they tell no people. My brother is doctor and he tell me.

Shauri: Well that's good to know.

Fez: Yes. You should be careful with the girls that you are dating and things.

Shauri: Right. Like maybe even get to know them and date them before you need a condom.

Fez: Well, this is much. I think you should date girls that are wiz-heads...

Shauri: Wiz-heads?

Feez: Yes. You know, they are smart girl. They will go with you for these checks to be tested.

Shauri: That does sound like a wiz head. How often do you do this?

Fez: Oh I do it very regularly. Once a month I go for this check and I bring girls.

Shauri: Once a month?? Is Wilt Chamberlain your idol?

Fez: No. Magic Johnson is the best for women. I be like him.

Shauri: No, Wilt. Wilt definitely slept with the most women.

Fez: This cannot be true. I believe and I know that it is Magic.

The debate continued until we called in the assistant coach to settle the argument and he agreed that Wilt definitely slept with the most women. Either way, it is slightly concerning that our Ukranian lover has such goals. I have a feeling he will not be needing such a frequent check up here in the state of Utah.

The Home Opener

So on a less exciting note, I thought the first game of the season was a great success! Sadly, they lost the game on (literally) a last second shot. There was in fact, one second on the clock. Frank Layden did tell the camera (mine) that it was the worst call ever. But overall, it was a nail biter game with lots of excitement and the crowd seemed to be very in to it.

I know Travis was a bit disappointed that he sold 5,000 tickets to the game and only about 2-3 thousand showed up, but I think it was still a great showing and the crowd was loud enough to be 5,000. It was run soooo much more professionally then the road games I saw. They had red carpet, complete with paparazzi taking people's pics as they came in and interviewing them with questions like, "who are you wearing tonight? I love your outfit." They had a brand new, awesome Flash floor, professional media setup, fireworks to start the game, the whole team running out of the tunnel with the lights down and spotlights, and the mascot riding on the floor on the free scooter giveaway. All-in-all I thought it was an awesome production with lots of fun for everyone and a complete success.

It was really cool to see it all come together after following the ups and downs for so many months and not seeing any actual results. I think the players were a lot more pumped to play in front of a home crowd that really loved them too. Maybe now they will start talking. One can dream.

Crowd favorites were already starting to be picked too. I asked all the ballboys if they had a favorite and they all agreed on Michael Cuffee. In their words, "he's awesome!"

As mentioned in my previous blog, I also met the guy who's in charge of the D-league for the NBA. His name is Dan Reed and he wanted to talk to me about filming because apparently it's creating quite a stir. The league is very protective of their I.P. and already shut down one documentarian in Anaheim. Luckily I was able to shmooze him a little when I found out he went to good old Pi High in Ann Arbor and played basketball with Shawn. Shawn- he sends a shout out to you. We talked about Hayward and Donyell, and Quentin and all your old Quinn-daddy boys. Pretty crazy small world. Anyway, he still wants to talk and still has concerns, but the Ace Deuce may come through in the clutch for me.

So that's it. Nothing funny, but it was a GREAT game. Cuffee actually made a 3-pointer with 2 seconds left to tie the game when all hope seemed lost. The crowd was on their feet. Not a win, but the kind of game that brings you back. Or brings you to your back in my case.

Woooommmaaaannn Down!

I would love to write about the actual game experience last night, but I have been informed by reputable (and sensitive) sources (Janine, Wallace and Travis)that the highlight of the game was not even part of the game, but right after it finished.

Post game, I was walking around with my camera and backpack talking to some of the people on the court when all of a sudden I heard my name yelled. I turned to see my friends Wallace, Erika, and Janine sitting about 6 rows up on the other side of the floor. I broke into a grin and started to amble towards them. I got so close I could almost feel their loving arms embracing me, when I was stopped by a row of floor seats that were bolted to the ground. I looked right, I looked left and there was no close way to walk around them. I saw Wallace as if in slow motion, waving her arm and saying, "cliiimmmmbbb oveerrrr." I shrugged and pushed the seat down, thinking it would stay. One foot was up before I realized my error. Just as I was taking my second foot off the ground, I realized I was about to be catapulted upwards as the seat began to snap back in to place. The rest was in super slow-mo. I knew I was going down, but I had time to think through the whole process as it was happening. At first I thought I might just land awkwardly in the chair, than I thought I could protect with my hands and just land on my butt. Then I realized my camera was in my hands and it was more important to protect 3K of equipment than myself. I stopped moving to catch myself and instead tried to place my camera on the next seat as I was going down instead of watching it hit the floor. I did manage to save it but just as I fell flat on my back on top of the backpack strapped to said back. I looked like a turtle on it's shell with legs wriggling in the air. It was probably the most awkward fall known to human kind.

Moments later I see my brother's laughing face hovering above me. I search it for concern, but all I see is laughter...and embarrassment. He pulls me to my feet and burrows me in to his chest, not to hug me, but as he says, "To hide me." as in, "Let me hide you." Wallace and Janine come screaming down the steps with laughter. EVERYONE saw it, and the people behind them said, "She should have caught THAT on film." The outpouring of love and concern is overwhelming.

The worst part for me however, is the fact that there was a man there from the league (NBA) who I was supposed to meet with the next day (today) to talk about my film and the distribution possibilities. He saw the whole thing. I don't even know HOW I will be able to look him in the face and have a serious conversation as he thinks, "This person? This is the person we would trust to have a camera and capture interesting footage??" I'm so humiliated.

It does remind however of one of my favorite falls - at Steve and Barry's in Michigan. Kris, I think you know where I'm going. When you missed the steps and went down like a brick behind a shelf of shirts. And as we were laughing on the ground, the man who peeked around the shelf to see you and thought we were mad as loons and wouldn't crack a smile. Falling can be fun, I get it. But this one wasn't. Yet.

Next post....the actual game, a secondary story.

Game One - Sweet Victory

Saturday I flew to Anaheim for our first official game. When I say "our", I mean the Flash. I'm not sure they include me as part of the team, but I like to think they should after my potato pie efforts.

It was rather exciting. I thought we were going to lose, but we ended up winning on a last second shot by Gabe Pruett who had just been sent down by the Celtics the day before.

What was sad about that is it gives a little glimpse in to how fragile your dream is as a professional basketball player. On Thursday the guys had just been talking to Wallace about how you can get sent down or up at anytime during the season and that you are never secure in your spot. We saw that first hand the next day when Pruett came down and Gary got sent packing just hours before his flight to Game One. It's a tough business. (The top picture is of our two Celtic guys.)

It was really interesting to see how poorly attended some of these games will be. The Anaheim team only had about a couple hundred seats filled and felt very empty. (You can get a bit of a feel for that in this picture.) It will be interesting to see how many show up for OUR game opener tomorrow. I'm sure everyone in the Flash organization (especially travis) is nervously awaiting that moment of truth.

Nothing very exciting or interesting to post on the personal front. I'm suffering from major PMS, so mostly just trying not to talk to very many people. This is for their benefit, not mine so I hope the concern is appreciated. (Is it ok to say PMS on your blog? I think when you are experiencing it, it is.)

I'm famous. In a very small way.

Ok...this is kind of cool. To me.

I found this picture of me on the Flash Website - I didn't know it was there. Check out this link: http://www.nba.com/dleague/utah/ and once you get to the page you'll see a frame with pictures - I think the new Celtic Draft pick is in the first one. If you click through to number six you can see this pic of me on the job interviewing ex-NBA player Thurl Bailey at the open tryouts. As you can see, we are really enjoying the interview - or at least I am.

Dinner of the Dead

Sometimes when I'm at home by myself eating dinner I will suddenly start out of my deep thoughts (yes, I have them. Mostly about The Office) and realize, wow, I must have drifted off because it's so quiet in this house by myself.

I had a similar experience today. Only it was much, much more startling. I was sitting at the table lost in thought and silence when I suddenly started back to reality and gave a double start to see myself surrounded by giant, silent men.

Men that Wallace referred to as "a Redwood forest" upon first meeting. As in, "I feel like I"m surrounded by the Redwood Forest." I wouldn't be surprised if that was when they decided to shut down. I mean, nobody wants to be thought of as a Redwood tree. Do they?

Wallace thought we should have dressed up in our mime outfits to see if that would have helped facilitate the conversation. Maybe I'll try that next Thanksgiving.

I did attempt to make sweet potato pie at their request, and I am here to tell you...I failed. Well, mostly I failed on the crust. I saw players scraping the insides out of the crust and eating that. Here were some of the comments, "It's ok - it was your first try." and "You should just get the already made crust" and "Wow, this DRINK is really good." A drink I made by pouring cranberry juice and 7UP in to a pitcher. Now I know that the best food for this group is already made, processed or bottled or packaged food. I wish I had known that up front it would have saved a lot of time and effort.

A couple of the guys were very sweet and did thank me for a great dinner, but there were a handful of not so nice, not so grateful guys too. Travis said we should think of them as really pretty girls. The girls who don't have to develop personalities because they are so pretty. You can't talk if you ain't got nothin' to say.

Anyway, it was definitely a trip. I have never, never had trouble pulling people out and messing with them until they loosen up and talk....until yesterday. Wallace and I did have a good conversation with the guys who sat at our table finally about jail and polygamists which they were REALLY interested in, and we also learned that women in Croatia are really hot. Wallace made this comment to the Croatian player and he agreed wholeheartedly. She then asked what he thought about women in America, and I said, "careful you have 2 at the table" this didn't really phase him as he replied, "Ohhhh...they are alright I guess."

It was a quiet, quiet holiday, so I guess it was, in retrospect, very like a Hallmark Card as I suggested in my previous blog. Both are after all silent.