Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sex Ed - Ukrainian Style


Time for another update on our favorite Ukranian (NOT Russian) player.

Yesterday, after filming at practice I was sitting on the couch talking to some of the players. Our old friend Fez, found his way over and started to chat with me. He told me about the player meeting they went to and how some of the sexual health material was rather unpleasant to look at. Then things got really interesting. Again, I bring you Fireside Chats with Fez:

Fez: Did you know that these, uh, how you say, yes, condoms are only...

Shauri: ..97% effective?

Fez: No..not thees. I am saying to you that they are only effective for 40% of time to prevent sexual disease.

Shauri: Ahh, interesting. That seems like a low number.

Fez: Yes. It is low and these doctors, they are the only ones who know thees and they tell no people. My brother is doctor and he tell me.

Shauri: Well that's good to know.

Fez: Yes. You should be careful with the girls that you are dating and things.

Shauri: Right. Like maybe even get to know them and date them before you need a condom.

Fez: Well, this is much. I think you should date girls that are wiz-heads...

Shauri: Wiz-heads?

Feez: Yes. You know, they are smart girl. They will go with you for these checks to be tested.

Shauri: That does sound like a wiz head. How often do you do this?

Fez: Oh I do it very regularly. Once a month I go for this check and I bring girls.

Shauri: Once a month?? Is Wilt Chamberlain your idol?

Fez: No. Magic Johnson is the best for women. I be like him.

Shauri: No, Wilt. Wilt definitely slept with the most women.

Fez: This cannot be true. I believe and I know that it is Magic.

The debate continued until we called in the assistant coach to settle the argument and he agreed that Wilt definitely slept with the most women. Either way, it is slightly concerning that our Ukranian lover has such goals. I have a feeling he will not be needing such a frequent check up here in the state of Utah.

5 comments:

EFN Newsletter said...

Nice. This guy is so classy.

xóchitl said...

I'm cracking up that this conversation even took place. Once a month! Really? And 40%? Yikes! And here I considered myself a pretty smart girl. I mean wiz-head.

Lisa said...

I see many happy Fez stories for months to come. He'll be like Kristin's Sam. Keep 'em coming, I'm loving this guy!

Delsa said...

Thanks Lisa, I forgot Sam and it made me happy just to think of him. I think I might like him better than Fez.

Shauri said...

Oh no mom, you would like Fez. You just have to accept that he is utterly insane, that he has no filter, and that he is not at all apologetic for anything he thinks and then you love him. Seriously, he's crazy as a loon, he's racist, supremacist, and obviously was raised with very different morals, but he is 100% authentic and so very amusing. Plus, you know, he just hasn't met your missionaries yet.

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