I had a recent conversation with a friend who just started dating someone and is struggling with the age old question: What annoying things that your new man does should you just ignore, and which ones should send you screaming for the door?
It gets a bit more clouded at our age because everyone thinks the reason you're not married is because you're too picky, so the instant response from family and friends is, "Ignore all flaws, all annoyances and any problems and JUST GET MARRIED." Keep this in mind as you consider, and answer this blog.
I do agree that in most cases people who are unmarried in their 30's probably are a bit more picky than they should be. But, does this doesn't mean you should just marry anyone? No. No matter how old you are.
The current topic of "annoyance" we were discussing was the guy's cheese factor. You know the guy...the one who makes every moment and every comment in to a declaration of love. Example: "That sunset is brilliant." His reply, "You are brilliant." That rose is beautiful. Response, "You are beautiful." I could eat that up with a spoon. Response, "I could eat.." never mind, you get the idea.
Clearly, this is NOT a good reason to end a relationship. But here's the real question. What's at the heart of this? Someone you are smitten with could tell you "Your eyes are like liquid pools of light that reflect all my love for eternity" and you would think it's the most romantic thing in the world. If someone you're just not that in to says it you throw up a little in your mouth.
There are some notable exceptions, but I ask you....is the cheesy creep outs reaction to a guy like this something that is dumb and should be overlooked, OR is it a manifestation of something bigger that shows you're just not that in to him, and it's a bigger problem?
You be the judge.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
You are as briliant as a sunset
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8 comments:
I have no way to answer this and I'm pretty sure you've already answered it in your mind, but let me just say that I do think you're as brilliant as a sunset. : )
I think if you're bugged by something like that (and I would be too, btw) but then you're wondering why or if you should be bugged, than you're probably in a situation where you wish this were the man of your dreams (b/c wouldn't it be nice to have finally found him so you can be done with the dating madness forever?) and so you try to tell yourself that he IS the man of your dreams, and you go to great extremes to convince yourself that he really could be the man of your dreams. Except for that secretly even little inconsequential things about him bug you, and so he clearly is NOT the man of your dreams.
i thought your next blog was going to be about your first trek to the Y. what happened to all those brilliant pictures i took of you? YOU'RE brilliant.
That's way to complicated for me.
i think there is no place for cheese in a relationship!!except for a good cheese fondue!!
If a guy's comments or behavior (or any other characteristic) "makes you throw up in your mouth a little", it is DEFINATELY a good barometer to know that it's DONE! Go with your guts on that (no pun intended), its a good gauge. Even if you dont understand your body's reaction.... just trust it. Feeling compeled to vomit is hard to reverse. We dont have to understand it all.
shaurs, i have many, many stories of never ending cheese. (i believe wallace has heard a few of the gems). i, too, thought i must overlook the cheesiness making me sick and see how wonderful these guys were. no. i could never get past it. and yes, when it is someone you dig, nothing really sounds cheesy. or if it is, you both can acknowledge it.
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