Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

It was the third, bi-annual, girl's weekend escape of debauchery and carnal delight. Which basically just means we eat as much fattening food as humanly (or inhumanely) possible in one weekend. I know…we take the phrase living on the edge to a whole new level.

The interesting fact here is that each year we’ve lost one member of the group. The first trip we were all there. The second trip mom was in Australia and we were forced to tote around her head on a stick for all the pictures. (Not her real head you sicko - an 8X10 photo.)

This year, Kristin dropped off.

Next year there is a high probability that Amy or Lisa will be gone if this trend continues. And then…THEN I will be all alone. How do I know I will be the last one standing? Use your noggin - I am the spinster. I alone have no commitments, strings or obligations and I alone was given (as a birthday present from my best friend) the song "all by myself" as a video tribute.

I digress. Let's stick to the present.

There were many highlights, but in the interest of time I’ve narrowed them down to a top 8 list:

1. For Todd: I fell again. In the lobby of the Hampton. in front of many, many people. Who might not have seen it if the security guard hadn't gasped at about 100 decibels as he rushed to try and save me from certain death. Fool. If he only knew I fall about 10 times a year and I am well practiced in the art. I was wearing a relatively short skirt, but I think there was minimal exposure, as I quickly stood, brushed myself off and calmly thanked the kind man for his assistance as I moved toward the elevator. My sister in law Amy simply said for all to hear, "Oh man - I wish I had been watching!"


2. I wasn't joking about the food. We ate at Tavern on the Green,
The Russian Tea Room, Patsy's, Grimaldi's, and everywhere else we could find good eats. Each day was literally planned around all the places we wanted to eat. And we were only saddened by the fact that we couldn't justify more than 3 meals in one day.

Lisa fixed this by snacking between meals on cupcakes from Magnolias, bags of candy and ice cream.
I think my favorite part of eating at the Russian Tea Room was the expression on all three of our faces when the food arrived and it was a tiny round portion (like they eat in them thar fancy places)
that was all pretty..and foreign and it wasn't a plate heaped high with familiar foods. As we snapped pictures of it (and by we, I mean Lisa) I'm sure the wait staff and other patrons were impressed by our high level of culture.


3. Lisa's shoes hurt her when we were at our Broadway show, so she once again shared her cultrual saavy by removing them and walking around barefoot.



4. Amy bought a knock-off Gucci bag on Canal Street. In a van. We literally had to climb in a van, shut the door and turn on a light to see all the goods. When the transaction was over, Amy made a move to get out and the lady told her to wait. She called her spy outside to make sure the coast was clear and then we were allowed to exit. Meanwhile Lisa was tapping her foot outside muttering about the bloody hands of the poor Asian children that were tortured to make that bag.

5. Did I mention Amy was 9 months pregnant? I lived in constant fear of becoming a mid-wife on a subway. She did remarkably well and our bell hop told her "If it a girl, she be my girlfriend. If it a boy he just be my friend." Fantastic.


6. Amy really, really wanted to see Ellis Island. We supported the decision, but had only around a 3 hour window of time before our dinner/show. We spent 20 minutes on Ellis Island. We spent 2 hours and 20+ minutes getting there. She still seemed pleased.

7. We got pedicures. The Mexican ladies who gave them to us included leg massages. And by leg massage, I mean severe beat down. Lisa woke up with black and blue marks on her legs. I told them good jokes about how their boss-lady was a big fat liar in Spanish that they laughed hysterically at, so I know they liked us. I can't imagine how they "massage" the people they don't like.



8. Lisa insisted we go to Grimaldi's (famous pizza under the brooklyn bridge) and walk across the bridge. We were starving when we got to the streetlight across from Grimaldi's and we noticed a group of about 8 Asian tourists who were clearly also going there. I told the ladies - we gotta move it and not let the Asian Invasion beat us or we'll never get to eat. Without waiting for the light to change we ran across the street, and one of the guys took off after us. Clearly, he was picking up what we were laying down. We just beat him across and in to the line, but to our chagrin there was a Grimaldi's "Nazi" seating people and for some unknown reason he went right past us and took the AI group in first. He then proceeded to seat another group of 3 farther down the line from us and then finally decided we were worthy. Some people really let power go to their heads. And all the running for naught.

(I'm the one with the glowing head. Every picture ended with an unfortunately placed rain drop or flash on my face. A sign? Perhaps.)

I could continue, but I'm starting to get carpal tunnel. All in all it was a successful weekend although Kristin was very missed (sniff, sniff.) Three cheers for sisters and for girls' weekends!