I don't have any idea what I did (which is probably more of a confirmation to my forthcoming point), but it may have something to do with my decision to do something that my body has become horribly unfamiliar with. Exercise.
Last week I finally bit the bullet and decided it was time to get disciplined and dump the plump. Yes, I have decided that 12 times this year if you're counting, but this time I meant it. I started running again and went to the gym on Saturday to do some weights as well. A minor miracle, yes. And a decision I am now paying dearly for.
I think I broke my hip. Isn't that what old people do? I either did that, or threw it out. I may have just pulled a muscle in that area, but I'm guessing that I'm now of the age when hips can officially start breaking. I said it out loud for the first time on Saturday night to Brian Henderson when we were leaving a party, and as soon as the words left my mouth (I think I threw out my hiiiiippp..) my face reflected the horror I felt. I felt like I was having yet another out of body experience with the young me looking at this new old me and thinking...you're ancient. You really aren't 25 like you think. You are an old, old woman who breaks her hips when she exercises. And that is sad. I mean death can't be far off... Hip today, gone tomorrow.
The reality of my age was even more clear to me as it was juxtaposed against the party I had just left. A party filled with 20 year olds. 20 year olds with fresh, flexible hips no doubt. Shaking their tail feathers on the dance floor with no comprehension that a woman in their midst could very well have fallen and not gotten up. And if I had, I don't even have that device that lets you push a button for help. It's tragic all around.
So the truth is, whatever I did to my hip---it hurts. I was limping through the San Francisco airport when I saw one of those annoying, beeping carts going by. I had to flag it down and ask for a ride. "Excuse me, cart-boy? I think I may have a broken hip here, can you drive me to the taxis?" He looked at me like he knew just how old I was. He might have even called me ma'am. And let me tell you, once you become ma'am you know it's all over. I will forever have that memory burned on my brain...the little cart boy helping the old, broken hip lady in to his cart and calling me ma'am. I wonder how much longer it will be safe for me to travel alone? And when will I have to start carrying the butt donut?
Oh---and thinking back to that whole catching my foot on my coat and crashing incident...I am lucky that none of my fragile bones broke then. Too think that just a short time ago, I was still relatively young and pretzel-like in my flexibility. Remember this people, here today, gone tomorrow. Enjoy your youth while you have it.
Monday, March 10, 2008
I am broken
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12 comments:
hey old lady -- why don't you try a chiropractor? remember when i thought my bottom was busted? well now it's good as brand spanking new! don't argue, just try it.
It sure is good as brand spanking new, have you seen that thing? :)
Shauri you are hilarious. I love reading your posts! I am glad to hear that Wallaces bottom is not busted anymore... she was suffereing when she was here in AZ. Maybe you should invest in one of those buttons that you can call when you are in need of help... just in case:)
I have 2 words for you: hip replacement. Sure - it might be for old people, but you can always submit the request for a 20 year old hip and then you'll be out there shakin your tail feather with the best of them. ( :
I have a lot of contacts in the Provo area - an uncle & some cousins that are Dr's and an uncle that's a physical therapist if you need to get some advice. My guess is you pulled something & if you give it some time and use ice and heat alternately you'll be back to yourself in no time. Keep me posted. For now - I'll send over "The Clapper"...people on TV used to always look so relieved to know that they wouldn't have to actually get up to turn off a light. The simple joys of life. ( : Hope you get feeling better soon.
Kris,
You might like to know that Abram and I own the clapper. It is fantastic. Except that it's cheap. Our first one broke after a year. Our second one broke after another year. So we finally quit buying them, but this makes Abram very sad.
Power through it Shauri!
Maybe you have gout in your hip...drink plenty of cherry juice. I am a bit jealous of your line, "hip today, gone tomorrow." I wish I could use it, but somehow "toe today, gone tomorrow" doesn't work as well. Next time you're using the airport golf cart, it would be great if you carried flowers, waved, and threw candy to the crowd...please promise to use your flip to record that.
Kristin...you and Abram are HIP! I love that you've already owned 2 clappers - if only I could say the same thing for myself. I would undoubtedly walk a little taller & clap with much more enthusiasm ( :
While I sincerely am concerned about you, I think I'm a little more concerned for the lady in the picture. And who is behind the camera on that one? Put the camera down and help the old woman! Sheesh. Back to your hip...I could offer you some advice...or training for that matter. Kris was right, heat and ice is key. And maybe lay off the kick-boxing for a while. Hope you heal quickly. Maybe that should be our first date...a day at the gym. ;)
Hilarious! RICE is my advice. Rest, Ice Compression and Elevation (rememeber that from your sports days?). Although I don't have any suggestions as to exactly you will achieve compression and elevation of the affected area) :)
Yes!! Just what I wanted. It has been so busy I haven't been able to check the blogs and I was hoping for a great laugh. Sorry for the pain, but you made my day.
consider yourself lucky...i've been getting "ma'am" for quite some time now. which might be explained by my living in the south. no, it's probably because i'm old and also need a hip replacement, ma'am.
During my last pregnancy I threw my hip out just walking... something about your joints loosening up that no one warned me about. I can't even remember the first time someone called me ma'am. It's been way too long now.
p.s. when is a good time to call. Apparently my timing so far has been poor.
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