It was brought to my attention by Kris Hansen (one of my most loyal subjects - I mean readers) that I haven't been updating my love life. I want to remedy this travesty, but first I need to deal with Gary. Again. My dear and good (and certainly "special") friend Gary thinks that the purpose of this blog is to verbalize why no man is good enough for me. That simply isn't true. Well, it IS true that no man is good enough, but it's NOT true that is the purpose of this blog. Since he has no doubt been working 800 hours a week as a Rooter-ooski he probably just doesn't understand the content without the dreaded learning objectives. So for Gary's sake, after you have completed all the posts on this blog you will be able to:
1. understand and share the joy of my life with the world.
2. laugh heartily at least once but probably more.
3. explain the difference between Russia and the Ukraine
4. discuss why there are so many loony single men out there (most of which are more than good enough for me to date.) and what their problems are.
There. I hope that helps. Now let's dive into learning objective 4. I had a date last night. He appeared to be normal and nice and I even daresay dashingly handsome. After scrabble and playa, and player romantic dating dabbles though I have tried to set my expectations pretty low. Turns out that can be a good thing. (Just like when you think a movie is going to suck, but you go anyway and then you're pleasantly surprised. Get it?)
Our event for the evening was going to be a trip to the finest theater Provo had to offer. The Forgotten Carols. Scoff if you will, but I LOVE this story and the music. I know 88.8% of you think it's pure cheese, but remember what Fez says, "The cheese in the mousetrap is never free." Ok, that didn't apply here at all, but I've been looking for a good excuse to plug it back in cause it's so freaking awesome! I digress. So, it might be cheesy - but - I like it.
We go to the show and neither of us has seen the live production. Turns out at the end of the show Michael McLean goes a little nutty and does some improv. This is where it gets REALLY cheesy. First we all have to hum silent night and he sings this song "arise" and we all have to, well, arise. THEN...yes, THEN he pulls this little trick I wasn't ready for. He starts singing that good old Mormon missionary video song "We can be together forever someday." You know, the whole families are forever deal. This isn't it though. He makes everyone in the audience "Link up" (which is a little eerie since we met on linkup--do you think he knew? Maybe it WAS fate.) and hold hands or link arms and while you are linked to your very awkward first date dude that you're not sure if you should be touching, you are supposed to sing with him WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER!!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me?? You can't make this stuff up people. It's sick. I just feel really uncomfortable because frankly, I'm not sure that's a promise I can keep to this guy. I hope I can, I really do, but chance are (Gary help me out) he's just not good enough for me.
So on "the real" (as Travis would say) it actually was a fun date and there is some potential...maybe. There's some oddness, but I'm fairly certain that you aren't going to find a 38 year old man who's never been married (or who has been for that matter) without some oddness. Let the games begin. Or continue.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
We can be.. Together Forever Someday
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7 comments:
I am of the belief that you either know he/she is the one on the first date or there is no need for a second. Did you have chemistry or not? Did you make each others stomach do flip flops? Did you get butterflies? Did you go home and think if he/she doesn’t call me or take my call tomorrow I will die?
Call me old fashion, call me a 44 year old guy that’s been married ½ his life, call me a guy who met, fell in love, got engaged and married my wife all within 11 months. Call me what you will (what I really am was a guy who know I wasn’t getting any thinner or any more hair anytime soon so I better seal the deal quickly) but I still believe in falling in love on the first date. Please, Shauri and Mr. Yesterday’s date, save us all a lot of trouble and either get married this weekend or break-up! I hate nursing home weddings so either move it or move on!
Wow Gary - so much passion! You're really getting in to this blogging thing, aren't you?
Shauri, You know I am thrilled to hear about your love life - oh, and that Michael McLean is a CORNBALL!
I am dying for you! McLean is sooo cheesy. Ouch, the cheesiness is hurting. Make it stop! I think in some cultures linking arms and singing "we can be together forever someday" means you're married. And you're right, you CAN'T make that stuff up, it's so sick and wrong. Michael McLean is so sick and wrong, on so many levels!! (but I do like forgotten carols, although it's tainted now!)
Here's what's freaky - the same exact first date happened to me almost 10 years ago, but I don't remember who the heck it was with, just the very awkward holding hands part and Candi and Cece close by cracking up.
now i see why you were so ... tentative... about the "tickets." good thing i was stuck in st. george or i would've gotten married to michael mclean music right along with you. (i think jamie is right... sounds like you guys made a solemn and binding oath to each other). although watching you squirm coulda been worth it.
and yeah... spinster diaries? i have no idea. the only thing i can think of is once i searched for your blog under that name... would that come up as my tag from then on out?
Stories like this do little to glamorize spinsterhood. It's so painful even to read.
Today is the anniversary of the first date with my now husband and while I hate to add credence to Gary's one date deal that's kind of how it happened for us too.
Gary's one date theroy was certainly NOT how things happened for me...I'm not saying it can't happen that way - but there are very VERY few times I ever met a guy that made me do flip flops at first site. We won't go there. I do, however, agree with him about the nursing home weddings. Nothing like seeing denture cream as a "gift" at every table.
Shauri, the love life update was well worth the wait. I love that you had to sing "together forever..." while linked up with your date. I am uncomfortable just thinking about how I would've felt in your place. Might I add for that Michael McLean is not only cheesy, but has quite possibly the worst hair I've ever seen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there will be a round 2...but if he takes you to a Yanni holiday concert - move on, there is no hope for him.
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