Fear is like New Years Eve

How did New Years Eve ever get built up to be the monumental holiday people believe it to be today? This baffles me. The whole point of the holiday is not to mark a spiritual milestone like the birth of Christ, or a historical figure who made a mark, Like Martin Luther King, but simply to celebrate that another year passed. It's like a birthday, and I can tell you that I (and most of my friends) got to the point years ago that another passing year is HARDLY cause for celebration.

So not only are we here just to celebrate another year beginning but on top of this, somehow, somewhere, someone came up with the idea that this holiday is all about KISSING. And that this is the night of all nights in the year that you had better get one and that all your hopes and dreams will come true and that it will be magical..you know the drill. (And this is clearly a single person holiday. I base this on Kristin's blog where she counted down to 8 pm before hitting the sack - likely without any kissing involved.) Basically, it sets up unrealistic expectations only to turn out to be another year, at another party, waiting, waiting for the big moment....counting down...and it's over. Kiss or no kiss, it probably was anti-climatic. But people, OF COURSE IT WAS. When you count down for something, it's gonna make you feel like something big is going to happen and then when you hit three-two-one, and you're still standing at the same party, either kissing your friends for a few seconds, or looking awkwardly at people you don't know so well and wondering how and if you should kiss them, well it's not that magic moment you counted for. AND NOTHING HAPPENED. I'm here to lift the curtain and expose the wizard. Let's put our celebration in to a more worthy and under appreciated holiday - like Columbus Day. I mean he discovered America and only DC and NY even give people the day off. Let's start kissing on Columbus day, and not just at midnight.

With that said, I did go out. And I'm glad I did. But not because it exceeded my expectations or because it was the most awesome freaking fun ever...but because I did something I'm proud of. I went somewhere alone - to a party where I didn't know anyone. In case you haven't been single for a while...this is really brave. No one goes anywhere without a wing-man. There's even a commercial about it.

I met a guy at a party a few nights ago and he invited me to meet him and his friends at the club they were going to for New Years. None of my friends wanted to go - they were going to a different party or abstaining completely from New Year's and staying home, so I had a choice...do nothing, go to a party where I know some people with friends, OR go somewhere alone with a group of people I never met. I ruled out the party my friends were going to and then I thought about it for a LONG time. I decided one of my New Year's resolutions should be let go of fear and do stuff that takes me out of my comfort zone.

I decided what do I really lose by going? If I hate it, I can leave - but maybe I'll meet a bunch of new people I like. And if I don't, chances are good I'll have a pretty good story to tell. It sounds simple, but it was scary. For me. So, I did it. And you know what? It was totally empowering. I felt brave and pretty freaking cool and confident, and I ended up liking all the people and having a good time. I met some nice people I wouldn't have normally met, and when I walked away I felt strong. I know it sounds silly, but I really felt proud of myself. So I'm sharing it-- and I swear there's really something to saying, "who cares what's normal or what people think?" So this is what I learned: Fear is like New Years Eve - it doesn't live up to your expectations. Nike is truly a sage for the ages - and they tried to tell us: Just Do It.

Other people besides Nike had some good things to say about fear....this is my New Year's gift to you. Enjoy.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. -Dorothy Thompson

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
- 1 John 4:18.

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. -Marilyn Ferguson

I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. -Rosa Parks

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
-- Ambrose Redmoon.

And my favorite:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson