Stankonia

I've played softball my entire life. Started when I was about 7 or 8 and kept playing until about 2 or 3 years ago when I moved away from my city league team in DC.

I just came back to Ann Arbor and my sister Kristin invited me to play on a team she and some of her High School friends were on. I was excited to get back on the field...but there was a warning from Kristin. "Um...we're not so good."

Our team name is Stankonia, but I think we might want to just cut off the "onia."

Until I showed up to the field last night, I had no idea what that not so good really meant. 25-0. For example. Everyone on the team is athletic--most played basketball or track in high school or college. I thought if you're an athlete, you're an athlete. You can pick up anything--especially something as simple as softball. Didn't every kid play with a bat and a ball growing up? Not so.

I watched people completely mis-judge fly balls, even at times getting to the ball, (Jimar) but then swatting it over the fence instead of catching it to give the other team a home run. I watched people flying through the air (Rodney) as if to make a stunning catch, and even passing the ball in mid-air while shouting at the last minute, "It's your ball!"

The bad play isn't even the best part of this team though. I think the best part is our "fans" and the pitcher who showed up last night.

Pitcher first. She apparently had been recruited from a championship city league team. She was angry and wasn't messing around. She glared at everyone, even her own team and weighed in roughly at about 300 lbs. She got mad every time someone missed a play and finally made some comment like, "I'm leaving." She said it to the first baseman, John, expecting some sympathy but instead he replied, "OK, go." I'm sure as a star she is used to much more preferential treatment, so this comment maddened her and like an enraged stuck bull, mid inning, and maybe even mid-batter, she stormed off the mound and to the bench where she collected her things made a scene and left. Everyone who didn't hear the interaction was stunned on our team, and asking each other, "Did she get ejected? What happened?" Play resumed....without Ms. Anger Management. I haven't seen such high drama since the last episode of Flavor of Love or maybe the spin off, I love New York.
Now the Fans. I use the term loosely. One of the girls on our team - Ayesha - has a pretty large family, including extended family, who all want to come out and watch our games for some reason. They have a slightly different approach to being a fan though. They yell at everyone on our team and tell us what we're doing wrong.

For example, "Hey Pitcher...aim for the catcher's glove!" Or "Hey catcher, give the pitcher a target." or "Hey outfield...don't move in so close. The girls on the other team aren't inexperienced like your girls!"

Kristin warned me about this phenomenon, but I wasn't prepared when at shortstop, I let a ball get under my glove and I suddenly heard from the bench, "Hey...you gotta put your glove on the GROUND!" Great feedback.

All in all it was an interesting experience. I don't think I've ever played on a team so bad - and that includes my 7 year old team. The only good thing is it provides plenty of entertainment and lots to blog about. I'll try to get photos next time - including one of Ayesha's team jersey that was so tight she tried to stretch it out...then played all game with a hole in her shirt.

Ghetto? Yeah, we got your ghetto right here.