And then you realize you're still single and the confusion will only deepen with each passing year.
A couple posts back I mentioned a date with a guy we'll call hockeydad. Not his handle, but it suits. I thought things went really well, (surprisingly so) and right after the date he went home and sent me the following message:
"I had a good time tonight and enjoyed our conversation.
I would assume you got home safely as I didn't see any fireballs on the way home.
I feel like we only scratched the surface and would like to continue the banter....are you up for a baseball game or some tennis?
Plus, I think I owe you a caramel or hot chocolate."
He obviously completely disregarded "The Rules" and didn't wait the obligatory time frame to make the next move, and even appeared to ask me out for another date.
I responded the following afternoon (Friday). And he hasn't contacted me since.
The way I see it there are 3 options why:
1. My email was so appalling or scary that it totally changed his mind.
2. My email never got to him.
3. He died, or switched teams.
My gut tells me it's one or two. For the sake of learning and progress I am going to share the email I sent to him and get your thoughts:
"You didn't see any fireballs because you entered Stonebridge on the wrong side. Major explosion off Lohr. I'm OK now though, thanks.
Ditto - it was a good AND enlightening conversation. It was especially interesting to learn why your ideal match makes 50K and why you hate Matt Damon. :) (I'm putting the smiley face because I don't know if we know each other well enough yet for you to get that I'm teasing. Try to count on the fact that 80% of the time I am so we can conserve smileys for those who need them.)
You definitely owe me caramels, the hot chocolate is a little more sketchy. Not sure which way a court of law would rule on that. Maybe check with your sister and I'll accept whatever verdict she passes. Baseball or tennis would be fun. I'm not sure tennis would be so fun for you though... I think you're probably a bit too good for me Mr. Monday night league. But if you have patience we can do it. I failed to mention my brother and sister-in-law also live in Stonebridge--maybe we can do some doubles. Then I won't have to cover as much court, I can be on your team and you can just be upset with them. :)
Have a good night."
Now I'd like you to weigh in on a couple things people(I'm especially curious to hear from any men on here so don't be shy.)
1. Should I reach out to contact him again. Is there even a slim chance he didn't get it?
2. Is my email scary?
3. What the *&*&%^#& happened?
This is your time America - your opinion matters and this is a vote where you'll truly be heard.
Go.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
You think you're as confused as possible...
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12 comments:
I couldn't even begin to guess what happened. . I personally thought your email was witty and funny. . . Maybe he got hit by the fireball?
nothing wrong with that email at all. i loved it...so you (but then what else would i expect.) i say re-send. i mean how often do you really meet someone that you actually want to go on a 2nd date with? that's my vote...can't wait to read what happens next.
I feel I must chime in here, for the sake of my sister. If you got his message, and you replied to his email, than he is going to get your message. Only way he didn't get it is that it went to his junk mail and he missed it. Give it another day or two, then reach out in a light manner, I'm sure you can handle that...
Yes my slightly patronizing brother, I can handle that. :)
I can walk away completely and not write to him at all in fact. Very little invested at this point, just curious about the male species and their odd behavior.
Dear Confused As Possible,
Seize the moment. Reach out and ask if he got your email. In the spirit of Root, why should the process of courting be any different than strategic engagement?
You must start with a clear line of sight. If you don't have that, then you can't "connect", and "develop" your relationship.
It's not complicated. Trust your instincts.
Dr. S.E.P.
I feel VERY strongly that you should NOT email him again right now. I agree with Garrett that you should give it a couple days and then you can reach out to him again. Per our email a second ago, you are right. I would WANT to email him...but in similar situations, whenever I have the urge to email him, I would email a friend instead and ask them to deter me from doing something potentially stupid. :)
Please note...I do have a low "success rate" when it comes to these things...so take my advice with a grain of salt!
Um Shauri...this is very funny. Made me laugh out loud. My conclusion about this topic is this...boys are dumb.
Okay, maybe when you mentioned "doubles" with your sis and bro he thought you meant "double dates" which might freak him out a little. Just send him an email and let him know you're still waiting on those caramels.
I agree with Lisa. I know very little about dating, but he might have gotten nervous about the double date, or maybe nervous about meeting your family. Wait a few days then send a light, short e-mail about looking forward to getting together for hot chocolate or something.
I thought your e-mail was funny though, and I didn't see anything wrong with it.
I agree with Elizabeth. Don't e-mail him yet. (So even though Elizabeth may have a low success rate, she still is pretty clever.) And I do think the double date idea may have been a bit too much for him to process just yet. Boys are skittish. Among other things.
maybe the comment about the doubles made him think you are a swinger. i'm just thinking out loud here.
ps -- i like his email and i like yours too. when we gonna talk again?
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