The Internet is scary

What an odd thing to say...why is the internet scary? Is it the online predators, or the credit card fraud? Oh no, that's not it.

Let's pretend for a minute that you are part of some kind of online network. Something like facebook, or I don't know, maybe LDS Linkup. Ok, yeah, let's say linkup. Imagine that people are checking you out on this site and maybe even attempting to contact you. Let's pretend you don't answer them, but you don't worry about it because they're online and you will never meet them in REAL LIFE. And then you do. Maybe you end up going to visit an old friend for dinner and that online person says, 15 minutes after meeting you, "I know how I know you." Maybe you would even respond, "I didn't know you did know me." And then, bam! They hit you with the sneak attack - "yeah, yeah, I know you from linkup." And then it all comes rushing back. Yikes. That could be really, really uncomfortable. And hey, I'm not saying that happened to me tonight (it did), but if it did, or does, you should DEFINITELY hope that they are at least a little bit loony (the odds are in your favor) and that they tell stories like this at your dinner:

" I remember when I got back from my mission and I was tryng to date people, you know just friendly people in my neighborhood (Brian H. interjects: You mean like the mailman or garbage man?) and I asked my dad if I should be looking to marry someone I was attracted to. My dad said that was a normal expectation, but then dad asked me, "Do you know when I was most attracted to your mother?" This guy (who if he was real, might be named Jack) said, "No."
"Well, I thought she was most attractive when she was 7 months pregnant because of the life inside of her and the glow thing." He showed Jack a picture of Jack's mom wearing a sundress and t-shirt when she was pregnant. So fast forward and Jack says shortly after that conversation he met a girl that he thought was attractive, but they only had time to go out once or twice before she moved. He said when he was saying goodbye to her she was wearing this red sundress with a t-shirt and suddenly he got dizzy and he told her, " You know what, I think you'd look beautiful 7 months pregnant." I'm not sure what went through this girl's head, but I do know what would go through mine, and I also know that he is still single.

If you think that's good stuff, it gets better. Roommate number two got home midway through dinner and shared with us some of his success stories. He said he never has a girlfriend at Christmas and when he has given girls gifts they always break up with him. I asked him what some examples might be. Here was my favorite:

"I gave this one girl a nutcracker for christmas. She didn't like it. What's wrong with that?" (By the way, lest you make the same mistake I did and think it's a really random gift- he meant the character, not the tool. Both still baffle me. Later it came out that his mother picked out the gift. Huh??) He ended all of his stories with "what's wrong with that?" ie. I gave her cash, what's wrong with that? The best was when he told about one girl who kept losing her keys and so he bought her a key finder for christmas. "So I bought her a key finder, what's wrong with that?" We said, "nothing, that's thoughtful." He answered, "She was offended. She hated it." The poor guy can't catch a break and I ask you, what's wrong with that??

It was great to see Brian and he made some delicious moroccan couscous. I was very impressed with his cooking skills. I also met his very nice girlfriend Kim. They seem to be very happy. And I can see why - they live with constant, unintentional entertainment.