Cooking Turkey is Gross

Two nights ago I had a flash of either complete insanity, or overwhelming generosity. Since I know I'm not that generous, I think we can go with insanity. Which, by the way, was one of the pleas I could make in court for my ticket of running a stop sign. You have no idea how tempting it was when the judge asked, "what do you plead to this charge?" not to say, "Judge, I was clearly insane." It was really funny in my head, but this time the gatekeeper was strong, and I resisted. Judges don't tend to have good senses of humor I've noticed. I guess I learned from my "Did you see my dad's picture on the porn site?" comment when the gatekeeper was not active this time last year. See - I grow.

Sorry for the tangent. Back to this moment of insanity. After many puppy dog eyes and comments about nowhere to be on Thanksgiving, I offered to feed the entire Flash basketball team. I thought maybe other staff would split them up with me, but no one else seemed bothered by the fact that they were not having a turkey dinner. I think I have overactive guilt complex. Once again, I have to give thanks to Delsa for that one. (It just means you're nice mom. At least that's what I'm telling myself.)

Anyway, I have no idea how much ten 7' ball players eat, but I'm guessing it's a lot. I'm a little nervous about guessing on portions - but mom told me if I guess too little to just send them to McDonalds. I asked her if that's what she would do, and she said, "No. But I wouldn't guess wrong." Very helpful.

I'm also a little nervous because half of the food I'm making I've never made before, so I have no idea if it turned out or not. For example, sweet potato pie. Never done it. But these boys seem to think it's a Thanksgiving staple, so I made some for them. I have no idea if the pies are right. I also am making mom's caramel yams for the first time and Kristin and I both struggled with directions like "wait until it turns a tan color" There are so many shades of tan! And whether it should be runny or not. I mean, please, just a bit more specific for the Thanksgiving rookies. Here's the worst part though - THE TURKEY. I'm not even going there. After reading online how to do it, with instructions that included "Break the neck and pull out the giblets and tie back the wings" ugh - no way. Seriously the grossest idea ever. I'm buying a pre-cooked turkey -ready to go. I have no time for making that anyway. I've been cooking for 24 hours straight and still going.

Guests today will include 10 players, Travis, Me, and Wallace. I can't imagine a more perfect, traditional, Hallmark Card Thanksgiving. At least I know I will walk away from it with plenty of blog material.

Happy Turkey Day to All!