Acting really IS a skill

Sometimes you think something is really, really funny and then you realize it's 1:00 a.m. This was not the case last night. Well, it was 1:00 am, but what we were laughing at in delirium last night, was still pretty funny today.

Yesterday, Brian, Micah and I spent 14 hours on set filming a compelling film about anthrax for LA County Health. It was a long, long day filled with a series of Twilight Zone-like mis-adventures.

It began with our arrival at the hotel Tuesday night. Brian was in his hotel room when he suddenly found himself in a crouching tiger hidden dragon stance as someone pulled a break and enter on his room. No damage done, except perhaps to the poor guy who came in like a lion and and left whimpering like a lamb, "Please, please, don't hurt me, I just want to check your room."

Micah didn't have a break in, at least not after he arrived...but he was pleasantly surprised by what can only be defined as impeccable hotel service. One of his beds was already made down and someone was even thoughtful enough to roll around in it and rumple it up a bit to make sure it was perfectly comfortable and ready for him. He was also excited to see towels in the sink and rather gently used bathroom facilities. Perhaps the best surprise though was the loose change scattered about for him so he could have a little treasure hunt. Now that's what I call a thoughtful touch!

So, that's how our journey began, but these little footnotes were not the cause of our giddy laughter last night. Oh, no, that was triggered by the lack of commitment to his craft of our second Guillermo (the father/husband) in our film. He bailed an hour before we were ready to roll and Brian was forced to step in to the role. He carried it off smashingly (He looks like a Guillermo, father of 3, que no? Si.) EXCEPT, yes except for when things got a bit steamy on screen.

The actress playing Maria (Guillermo's wife) bore a striking resemblance to Catherine Zeta-Joes. Brian spent most of the morning commenting on how attractive she was. Just as a casual, purely platonic observer of course. I mean he is a newlywed after all. This was all before he knew that soon he would hold the coveted role of her beloved.

There's a scene where Maria comes home from work and Guillermo/Brian is sitting at the kitchen table with his mother in law. Maria, who is a very warm woman, comes walking in and naturally moved to greet her husband in a casual, well-acted, happily married way, but I kept noticing on camera that she would suddenly freeze just a foot or so before she got to Brian and then as Brian sat rigidly like a deer in headlights she would abruptly turn to her mother and hug her.

I finally called this strange phenomenon out and mentioned that they didn't seem very natural. Their interaction felt like a really uncomfortable first date. The only thing missing was Brian giving her a high five. Maria totally agreed - she said she kept thinking when she was in the "role" that she should go and hug her husband, but as soon as she got close and caught his eye she would stop because he looked so uncomfortable and terrified. I told them to relax and try to get in to their roles, that Maria should walk in and just kiss Brian on the forehead as she greeted her mother while Brian yelled for the kids to be quiet. Sounds simple right?

It wasn't. We had no idea the depth of Brian's teen crush or the impact it would have on his ability to act. As she walked over for take one, and bent to kiss Brian on the head, he raised his arms at a right angle to embrace her in a very stiff manner, only to recognize that in his position - seated below her - (at about eye line with her chest) positioning was a bit awkward. He just sat stiffly while she kissed him and gently, and repeatedly patted her hips with a frozen smile on his face.

All who were treated to the pleasure of this scene, completely lost it at this point, including the children. After this display we were forced to agree on two things. 1. Acting really is a skill and 2. Brian should just let Maria do all the touching and save his awkward pats for his lucky wife.