Ed Has Gout

And I'm also furious about the Bachelor. On many levels. But I'll come back to that.

Ok, let's talk about Ed and the Gout. For those of you who don't know, Ed is a co-worker. Apparently it's a big problem for him and he's been having a hard time getting it out there, and speaking publicly about it no matter how valuable it would be for him to educate the public. To help him with that first step, I told him that I would happily publish it for him on my blog and break the ice. I don't really understand the worry. He always tries to keep people away by putting on his Britney Spears headset--and it doesn't always work. With this blessing of a disease he simply has to put a sign over his desk that reads, "I have gout" and he'll get all the space he needs and wants. See image below:


The one thing I thought was a little strange was the fact that one of our clients and friends, Hannah of Holiday Inn Express fame, also has a strange and rare disease that few have heard of (sorry Hannah- had to be done) and the way that Ed finally figured out what they both were suffering from was his reading of the book Little Women. Yes, the little girl's classic. Can't you just imagine our 6'4" societally challenged (Elizabeth's words, not mine) friend curled up with a blanket, some candles (gardenia-scented) and his well-worn copy of Little Women? Oh - and his gout. It's cute.

So back to The Bachelor. I'm angry. The first step in any self-help program - admit you have a problem. And how you feel...angry. I admit that I shouldn't even watch such a stupid, trashy show. Yes, I am at fault, yes I am dumb. But please, please tell me that he did not represent the very man that is any spinster's worst nightmare.

I mean he has two great choices, he says he loves them and that he just can't make a decision. That when he is with one, he thinks of the other. What is that?? I think Chris said it best, "Any guy who can't choose one woman out of 25 beautiful women has a problem." Although, to the bachelor's credit, some of those 25 women tried to impress him with intriguing tricks like wrapping their legs behind their heads and doing break dance moves on the floor. Talk about societally challenged. Anyway I don't want to get distracted defending my nemesis.

So, not only can't he make a choice because neither one is "perfect" or "offers everything", but the most painful part for me is the fact that he actually had her dad fly out because he had every intention of proposing, and that he said he loved her and there was no reason he could identify why he couldn't go for it. WHY???? Please, please hand out some therapy as a take away gift for this fool. I don't know, there's a side of me that feels for him, but there is also a murderous rage boiling beneath the surface. I guess the big question is...why do I care about the bachelor? I would like to say I am quitting it, but I know it's a lie. I can't resist a good train wreck any more than the next gal.

One last thing before I let this go and focus on something important and real, like Ed's gout...I think the bachelor's punishment for breaking not one, but two girl's hearts should be that he is now forced to marry the pretzel twisted-wierdo bachelorette. Can I get an amen sisters?

While I'm on the subject of dating, let me just put it out there that I have officially been asked out on my first player-date. Not playa, but player. Well, I don't know, might be both.

Tonight as I was wrapping up filming the Flash meet and greet, one of the players approached me, sat down and rendered me (and this doesn't happen often) speechless with a casual, "So when are we going out?" As if we had discussed it before and were both planning on it. Being a silver tongued dating wizard, I said, "uh, ummm. uh...what?" Smooth as butter. He repeated the question, I sort of recovered and reminded myself that I could be his mother, and told him that I didn't think it was a good idea to mix business and pleasure....no matter how pleasurable going out might be. I also mentioned we wouldn't want it to cloud the bias of the documentary. I then gave him some great advice- I encouraged him to get some groupies like any good NBA bound fella. He said no thanks, he would bide his time. I imagine the invitation was more about him needing transportation, since he asked me last week if I would take him to Western Union. I haven't done that yet, and this could have been another clever way to get me there.

One last time, for Ed's benefit. He has the Gout.